Maybe I'm a little too obsessive.

The Hardest Summer

Last week was my last week of high school, and I graduated this past Monday. It was incredibly bittersweet: I was so excited for school to finally, finally be over — but at the same time, I realized that it was the end. I can be one of those kids who complains on and on about high school, what a drag it is, and sing high and low about how happy I am to move on. But truly, high school wasn't as bad as it could have been. No, I had amazing friends throughout the course of the past four years, friends that kept me grounded and drove me crazy, and amazing teachers who made class enjoyable from time to time. To think that now I'm moving on, moving to Pennsylvania — for Juniata College, officially — suddenly, this summer is that much more difficult. Every moment spent with friends is precious and special and blissful, but the moment we part I'm hit in the chest with the feeling that at the end of the summer, it will be a parting that doesn't last just a day, a night — but months. Part of me asks myself, "Why didn't you just stay in Lexington for college?" And I have to remember that I didn't choose college based on where my friends would be, but based on where I thought I'd get a wonderful education and college experience.

But I'm leaving my best friends in the entire world, the people who have helped to open me up and create a world here that I now know that I love. I'm afraid of not being able to keep in touch, regardless of Facebook and Gmail. I'm afraid of going to college and crying every day for a month because I miss them so much. I'm supposed to be excited for college, but the largest part of me is too afraid to care, too afraid to leave. The largest part of me wants this summer to last as long as it possibly can.

I know one thing: I've gotta make the most of this summer. I've gotta hold on tight, but I've also gotta be able to let go. It's onto the next chapter in my life, and I need to find the courage to turn the page.

Before I go, a little catch-up from the last entry:

• I turned in my paper about wizard rock and presented to my class, as well. Fifty out of fifty on the presentation, 95% on the paper. Yeah, I think Mr. Liimatta likes wizard rock now :) God knows I do, even if Harry and the Potters doesn't seem to think Kentucky has unlimited enthusiasm this summer.
• Obviously turned down NYU — as I stated above, officially am going to Juniata College. But there's an Amtrak station in Huntingdon, PA, where Juniata is (so random! in the middle of nowhere!), that goes right into New York City, so maybe I'll be able to go to RED events on various weekends or whatever! Go spend the weekend in the cityyyyy. We'll see, haha.
• Since my last entry, I have also done the following: spent three days at the country fair at my church, gone to Pride Prom (hosted by Lexington GSA — Vincent and I were the DJs, haha), gone to Lexington GSA and looked at pictures from Pride Prom, attended the first and second Summer Movie Classics at the Kentucky Theater (the first one being Citizen Kane, with Saskia, and the second one being City Lights, with James and Duffee), and gone to the drive-in over in Winchester for the first time (saw Indiana Jones — which was fun, though maybe a little too fantastical, even for Indiana Jones — and Iron Man — which was AWESOME). A lot of this stuff, I've done with Vincent, too, haha. I think I may be taking advantage of him and his hot Mustang convertible... but pfft. He likes driving. So it's okay. ;)


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