I don't know if any of you have this experience but I know this happens to me every once in a while. I, like most other girls, am not fond of how my body is. I don't like how I look on most days and would prefer to get back in bed wear sweats and not let anyone see my pudgey stomach, my large thighs, or my abnormally huge breasts. I look at other girls with envy wishing I could look like them and wear the size that they were wearing. I'm so sure that everyone does it, maybe some do it more than others but I do find myself on most days loathing the way I look and wishing I could change. I've also, been on a diet practically every day since I was a sophmore in high school which means I've been on a diet every day for four years straight. I still continue to not lose any weight and gradually gain over time. It's just my body, it's just the way my body happens to deal with stress, putting on a couple pounds around the middle. When this happens I generally try and cover up my body and pudge with sweatshirts and clothing that hangs loosely around my body in the hopes that no one will notice. Chances are no one notices that I gained a couple pounds but I feel as though it's the only thing anyone will see when they look at me so I choose to do this. Today is not one of these days though.
I woke up last week and realized that I was done hiding my body and wearing things that concealed me. I realized I was done not caring about my appearance and I went and got my hair cut. I realize that this isn't really a big thing to most people but it is to me because I generally treat cutting my hair as reinventing my image. So I cut it, I decided that I wanted bangs and that I wanted to let my hair grow real long so I only trimmed it. Yet, even after I did this I slipped back into wearing sweats over the weekend and hiding everything about my body.
I also have days where regardless of how much I want to look bad I look pretty naturally. It's like my body is reacting in spite of me. Today is this kind of day, even though I did facilitate the process a little bit by shaving my legs and putting on a skirt and cute top my body seemed to do most of the work for me. Even though I have days where I wake up and put on a bunch of outfits and nothing looks good on me I woke up and the first outfit I put on looked amazing. So I accessorized and I put on some light make up and went to class. This is one of those rare days when I wonder why I don't have a boyfriend instead of admitting that I'm not pretty enough or thin enough to have one. I wonder why no one would possibly want someone who looks like me.
Needless to say. I like days like these. 