So, last night my school put on a production of Les Mis. It was interesting to say the least. Everyone in the show was amazing, I had a lot of friends in the cast and pit and the show was so moving it made almost everyone cry. I think I probably cried the most, though. I was probably also the only one to cry during intermission. Okay, I didn't cry all of intermission, I did call work to find out my scheudual was completely fucked up and they haven't called me back yet.
You'll need a little backstory before I explain. In my essay in Red I was dating a boy named... Devin I think I called him. We broke up when he went off to college, not only because he went off to college but also because I wanted to date a girl. I tried the whole dating a dude thing and it's just not for me. We dated for almost two years, but it was time to move on. We are still friends and we do still talk, but that's an important thing to know to understand the rest of this post.
So, I was at Les Mis and it was all fine and dandy. The staging, acting, singing, and everything was amazing. I didn't cry when Fantine died, but the second Eponine stepped on stage I started tearing up. And no, it's not because I knew what was going to happen to the charactor, although she is a very tragic charactor. It's because my friend was playing Eponine. Not just any friend, but a friend I have a very long and intersting history with.
She first came out to me in freshman year, she loved me. She's beautiful inside and out. She can be a bit dramatic and over the top, but I was crazy about her. Although she was the one to make the first move, I was the one to ask her out. She turned me down. Although she was very taken with me and miserable with her decision, her family is very religous and would have been very upset. Then I started dating Devin at about the time she decided to come out and disobey her parents. (Well, she didn't decided so much as her parents found her diary.) Things went back and forth like that until this year.
At the beginning of this year, she decided that we shouldn't give dating a try. She was just starting to talk to her ex again (over e-mail, he'd graduated and was out of state) and didn't feel like she was ready to move on. Also, she thought that because we'd gone through so much and not actually dated that it was a sign we shouldn't be together.
Maybe it is a sign, but I don't care. I still really love her.
So, seeing her play Eponine lusting after Marius (played by a boy I don't particularly like) and then dieing, I wasn't very happy. I hadn't told anyone, after she told me what she thought I just tried to move on and pretend I didn't care. I hid it for two months, no one had any idea. I think no one had any idea at least. She was in the play which eats up all your time. I hadn't seen or talked to Eponine for two or so months. I mean, I saw her around school and everything, but not really talked like we used to. Seeing her on stage, everything came back to me and I just lost it.
After the show everyone went back stage and congratulated everyone else. Eponine did come and hang out with me and the people I was with, but I just mostly focused on not crying again. I was lucky, a friend who was driving me home took me outside and let me cry on his shoulder in the middle of hanging out with Eponine and everyone. (My other friend asked when we got back if we were making out and I had to leave again.) Then Eponine went to hang out with her ex who she was seeing for the first time since the breakup.
As she left my driving friend knew she might be so wrapped up in everything she'd forget to say goodbye. I understand, really, it was the last night of the show and there was a cast party and everything was crazy. So he told her parents he was going to "give her a talking to" if she didn't come say goodbye to him. His plan of course that once she came over to say goodbye to him she'd say goodbye to me too. She didn't. She walked right past me. She passed me to hug him goodbye and passed me again to leave. He took me out right away and let me sob in his car. Lot's of people think he's this rude sleezy guy, but he's really one of the sweetest guys I know. He drove me around so I wouldn't have to go home and when I decided I wanted soup (I'm not sure why I wanted soup, but it did make me feel better) he drove me around at 12 am to find an open restaurant and got me soup. I know that doesn't sound like much, but I live in a town where it's illegal for a store to be open 24 hours. We have a CVS that closes at 10. It's rediculous. But he drove me around, it took maybe half an hour to even find an open restaurant.
Tomorrow at school I'm going to go see Eponine and ask if she wants to hang out like we used to over Thanksgiving break. Right now I'm going to go eat lots of ice cream.
