Your Smile On Fire : HWSH, Rainbow Fairy

i am tall and skinny with dark hair. and, erm, that's it.

jordynt — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 05:11:00 GMT

I think it's safe to say that I hope I never ever ever ever have to pick someone out of a lineup.

Because honestly? I would be terrible at it.

I thought of that after seeing the current poll my friend has up on her blog, something about which part of a person's outfit you notice first. (I did not answer the poll because my answer would be something like, "I am a dodo bird and unless you are actually wearing a chicken suit, I probably don't notice." And why wasn't that an option!? I mean, she knows I read her blog. I think.)

But anyways, I never notice what people look like. Not in any detail anyways. I think one time my cuzzie asked what the guy I liked (at the time) looked like. And my answer was something along the lines of, "um, he has dark hair and it's curly and he's tall. I think." She looked at me like I was crazy. She said, "but what does he look like?" But come on, I knew he was cute, I'm just not the best at noticing or describing people. Honestly. The way I describe my sister is something about her being tall and her hair being brown. Oh, and she's skinny.

You have a visual now, right? I would post a picture but EVEN THOUGH EVERY PICTURE OF MY SISTER IS BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE SHE'S AMAZINGLY PRETTY AND PHOTOGENIC, she would think whichever picture I chose was stupid.

My noticing of what people look like seems to boil down to three things.

1. If they are tall or short (and sometimes I say tall when they're really just regular height).

2. Hair.

3. If they are really fat or really skinny. If they are middle-of-the-road I don't notice.

Sigh. I don't know why I'm taling about this. It's not very interesting. I just like calling myself a dodo bird maybe? (Also, have no idea if I have ANYTHING at all in common with the dodo bird, it just seems like I should.)

On Movies I Have Seen...

jordynt — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 21:04:00 GMT

These are the movies I have gone to see in theaters since the move.

Flightplan. After that sleepover at Brea's, my dad and Taylor and I went to see this movie. I hadn't got to sleep until 6am the night before, so I was half expecting to fall asleep during the movie. But I didn't. And, shocker, I had a better time going to the movie, sleep-deprived, with my dad and Tay, then I had at the sleepover. Fun.
Walk the Line. With Dad and Taylor. Good movie. Awesome movie. Fun.
Stranger Than Fiction. A whole group of us went to see this movie. Meggo was the one who invited me and although the big group of people we saw the movie with and hung out with afterwards was no fun, I actually had a really good time with Meggo and Ana beforehand. Not fun.
Juno and I Am Legend. I went to see both these movies with Brad and Madi while they were out here. Both movies were good and of course it was fun because it was the four of us. Fun fun fun!

Have there been more?

I don't know. Maybe. I remember I wanted to see Ratatouille but that never happened, and also that me and Meggo were going to see Becoming Jane, but that never happened either. Really I used to see a lot more movies when I lived in Arizona. Only now there's no one around who is willing to go see Horton Hears A Who with me, because even my little sister claims it is for kids.

Pshaw.

There've been other movies. Ones I've gone to people houses and watched.

Sleepover. At Meagan H's, with a bunch of girls. Afterwards Meggo said she'd had a good time but the movie was lame. I didn't tell her that me and Taylor had been the ones to choose the movie. Eh.
The Prestige. Also at Meagan H's, with a bunch of people, most of whom I didn't know. It was fun though. We got a bunch of pizza and I was the only girl who ate that instead of salad. I wasn't sure whether to be happy about being all nonconformist, or upset because salad is really so much healthier than pizza. Mostly fun.
The Fountain. Um, oh, never mind. I don't want to talk about this one except to say that we had watermelon and it was yummy and also very messy. Fun, except not in hindsight.
That one movie with that one guy in it. I forget what it's called but it was really funny and Taylor had seen it before but I hadn't. I was with nice people that time, ones I actually knew and who were my friends. Fun.
Miss Potter. I went over to Meggo's and watched this, just me and her and her mom and possibly her sister although I don't remember. It was really good and much better than I expected, but I don't remember much about the night except that I had dinner over there and I cut the onions because they make Meggo cry and they don't make me cry. Usually. Fun.

Wow I have no idea why I just did a whole post dedicated to movies I've seen with people, but there you have it.

on the move

jordynt — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 00:50:00 GMT

I often seperate my life, if I haven't told you before, into the BEFORE and AFTER. Before the move. After the move. The move is the defining event though. So it makes sense that many of the quotes I have would relate to that.

And here they are. The moving quotes:

I vaguely hoped that someone would come up and talk to me. I imagined the conversation:

"Hey. Is this your first year?"

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm from Florida."

"That's cool. So you're used to the heat."

"I wouldn't be used to this heat if I were from Hades," I'd joke. I'd make a good first impression. Oh, he's funny. That guy Miles is a riot.

That didn't happen of course. Things never happened like I imagined them.

from LOOKING FOR ALASKA

Jamie giggled, "Yeah, I guess homesickness is like sucking your thumb. It's what happens when you're not very sure of yourself."

from FROM THE MIXED-UP FILES OF MRS. BASIL E. FRANKWEILER

They looked shallow, self-absorbed. And a small, strangled part of me envied them.

from SCRIBBLER OF DREAMS

It acted as a kind of pacifier in moments like these. A reminder that wherever I went, I was still me.

from I WAS A NON-BLONDE CHEERLEADER

It didn't feel like my world. It felt more like a dream. Something temporary.

from BRUNETTES STRIKE BACK

Carmen didn't like change and she certainly didn't like endings.

from THE SECOND SUMMER OF THE SISTERHOOD

The memories have become fuzzy around the edged, as all of them do, glorified in a process that began the moment we stepped onto the plane, away from the messy success of finding ourselves.

from RED

I've wrote a lot about the move. In emails to friends, in my journal, in word documents printed up and folded and hidden. I always think - like with a few other things in my life - that I'm done writing about it. That this is it. I'm really done this time. But there are some things, things like the move for me, parents' divorce for others, the breakup of a relationship for some, that are so huge and so defining and so momentous that as much as you go over it... it never really seems over.

When I moved I would have thought it would be the first year that would be difficult. Getting settled. New school, new group of people, new neighborhood. But it didn't happen like that. Three years (or close enough) later and I still feel "in transition" in some ways. Except now the slate isn't quite so blank. I've gone through friends, forging new friendships that deflated like a balloon when you let it go before tying it. It's gotten to the point where I look around and I don't see anyone that I haven't tried (and failed) at being friends with. Some of the friendships never got off the ground, some briefly (very briefly) soared, some sort of faltered all along. And now I have all these histories with people. Guys I used to like, girls I remember hanging out with once or twice, social events where I didn't exactly make the best impression. And on and on.

Don't mistake this for a pity post, because it's not. It's just me, musing about the move. (Which, for some odd reason, I keep spelling MOVIE. Weirdness.) But I have thought maybe there's something wrong with me? Like something in me incapable of keeping friendships alive, incapable of actually making friends?

But that can't be it, can it? Because I'm capable of making friends. Really I am. Why not here though? Is it because I am inherently un-socal? Is it because I have nothing to contribute to conversations of hair dye and makeup? It's not because the first time I heard someone say they wanted to work at the Mac counter I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY MEANT... is it? I mean, seriously. Those are pretty weak and pathetic reasons. And I KNOW not everyone here is the same. So why does it seem like it? Why does it seem like there's one mold for everyone else in my geographic location and then another mold for me? And worst of all, what if it's not about where I live? What if I'm just a cynical, uggy, WEIRD girl who will never fit in anywhere ever again?

Ash's townie idea is looking pretty good right about now. (haha)