Your Smile On Fire : McBarbie, Rainbow Fairy

On Movies I Have Seen...

jordynt — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 21:04:00 GMT

These are the movies I have gone to see in theaters since the move.

Flightplan. After that sleepover at Brea's, my dad and Taylor and I went to see this movie. I hadn't got to sleep until 6am the night before, so I was half expecting to fall asleep during the movie. But I didn't. And, shocker, I had a better time going to the movie, sleep-deprived, with my dad and Tay, then I had at the sleepover. Fun.
Walk the Line. With Dad and Taylor. Good movie. Awesome movie. Fun.
Stranger Than Fiction. A whole group of us went to see this movie. Meggo was the one who invited me and although the big group of people we saw the movie with and hung out with afterwards was no fun, I actually had a really good time with Meggo and Ana beforehand. Not fun.
Juno and I Am Legend. I went to see both these movies with Brad and Madi while they were out here. Both movies were good and of course it was fun because it was the four of us. Fun fun fun!

Have there been more?

I don't know. Maybe. I remember I wanted to see Ratatouille but that never happened, and also that me and Meggo were going to see Becoming Jane, but that never happened either. Really I used to see a lot more movies when I lived in Arizona. Only now there's no one around who is willing to go see Horton Hears A Who with me, because even my little sister claims it is for kids.

Pshaw.

There've been other movies. Ones I've gone to people houses and watched.

Sleepover. At Meagan H's, with a bunch of girls. Afterwards Meggo said she'd had a good time but the movie was lame. I didn't tell her that me and Taylor had been the ones to choose the movie. Eh.
The Prestige. Also at Meagan H's, with a bunch of people, most of whom I didn't know. It was fun though. We got a bunch of pizza and I was the only girl who ate that instead of salad. I wasn't sure whether to be happy about being all nonconformist, or upset because salad is really so much healthier than pizza. Mostly fun.
The Fountain. Um, oh, never mind. I don't want to talk about this one except to say that we had watermelon and it was yummy and also very messy. Fun, except not in hindsight.
That one movie with that one guy in it. I forget what it's called but it was really funny and Taylor had seen it before but I hadn't. I was with nice people that time, ones I actually knew and who were my friends. Fun.
Miss Potter. I went over to Meggo's and watched this, just me and her and her mom and possibly her sister although I don't remember. It was really good and much better than I expected, but I don't remember much about the night except that I had dinner over there and I cut the onions because they make Meggo cry and they don't make me cry. Usually. Fun.

Wow I have no idea why I just did a whole post dedicated to movies I've seen with people, but there you have it.

kid plan

jordynt — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 06:43:00 GMT

I still feel like I've been ran over by a train, but at least I'm happy now.

And I can't say why, but boy am I happy!!

In a related story, lalalalala is all I can think right now and it's nearly midnight so not only can I not tell my East Coast friends now (Mich, Becca), but I also can't tell anyone on the West Coast.

THINKABOUTSOMETHINGELSE THINKABOUTSOMETHINGELSE....

Um, ok. I'd rather not think about English class. Or my sore throat. Or my killing headache. Or the fact that I probably won't be getting to sleep anytime soon. And I still don't have a job.

What I need right now is a meme or survey thing so I don't have to actually think about what to write.

Ok here's something. I feel like everyone around me is growing up so fast. Like this one girl I know, 19 and getting married next month. I don't see anything wrong with it but it's part of this recent epidemic I'm seeing of my peers moving out (or wanting to move out), going to college, having boyfs and girlfs. One of my friends just emailed me about her college sightsee trip. I talked to another one today whose planning on combining 11th and 12th grades so she can graduate on time.

Even me, I shouldn't even be in college yet and I am. I mean granted I'm living at home and going to a community college, but still.

And my old best friend from Arizona just got her license. Which just brings us to a whole other level of weirdness because omg Mom, CHELSEY GOT HER LICENSE. The height of weirdness. I literally can't believe it.

I talk to Sarah sometimes. 20, going to college, not quite sure what she's going to do but at least she's working and blahblahblah so much better than a lot of people I could think of. And she's telling how she'll be 21 soon and how her old friend is getting married and how everyone is asking her when she'll be getting married. And we're both like OMG KNOCK IT OFF PLEASE JUST LET US GO SEE HORTON HEARS A WHO AND THE GROWN UP LIFE WITH THE BOYF-WHO-BECOMES-THE-HUBBY AND THE HOUSE AND THE INSURANCE CAN WAIT. PLEASE?

Because that's how I feel sometimes, like everyone is so ready to move on to the next thing that they don't really get a chance to see what they have now. And I mean, I'm excited for my future. Like really excited. For the first time I'm more excited than I've ever been about things since the move. But still, I'm not really ready to be there yet, you know? I still want to have a while longer watching American Idol with my parents and having Taylor sit in front of my bookcase while I shove books at her and say, "This one's good and this one's good and ooh, this one's really good." I'm still a kid, really. I just happen to be a kid with a plan is all.

on the move

jordynt — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 00:50:00 GMT

I often seperate my life, if I haven't told you before, into the BEFORE and AFTER. Before the move. After the move. The move is the defining event though. So it makes sense that many of the quotes I have would relate to that.

And here they are. The moving quotes:

I vaguely hoped that someone would come up and talk to me. I imagined the conversation:

"Hey. Is this your first year?"

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm from Florida."

"That's cool. So you're used to the heat."

"I wouldn't be used to this heat if I were from Hades," I'd joke. I'd make a good first impression. Oh, he's funny. That guy Miles is a riot.

That didn't happen of course. Things never happened like I imagined them.

from LOOKING FOR ALASKA

Jamie giggled, "Yeah, I guess homesickness is like sucking your thumb. It's what happens when you're not very sure of yourself."

from FROM THE MIXED-UP FILES OF MRS. BASIL E. FRANKWEILER

They looked shallow, self-absorbed. And a small, strangled part of me envied them.

from SCRIBBLER OF DREAMS

It acted as a kind of pacifier in moments like these. A reminder that wherever I went, I was still me.

from I WAS A NON-BLONDE CHEERLEADER

It didn't feel like my world. It felt more like a dream. Something temporary.

from BRUNETTES STRIKE BACK

Carmen didn't like change and she certainly didn't like endings.

from THE SECOND SUMMER OF THE SISTERHOOD

The memories have become fuzzy around the edged, as all of them do, glorified in a process that began the moment we stepped onto the plane, away from the messy success of finding ourselves.

from RED

I've wrote a lot about the move. In emails to friends, in my journal, in word documents printed up and folded and hidden. I always think - like with a few other things in my life - that I'm done writing about it. That this is it. I'm really done this time. But there are some things, things like the move for me, parents' divorce for others, the breakup of a relationship for some, that are so huge and so defining and so momentous that as much as you go over it... it never really seems over.

When I moved I would have thought it would be the first year that would be difficult. Getting settled. New school, new group of people, new neighborhood. But it didn't happen like that. Three years (or close enough) later and I still feel "in transition" in some ways. Except now the slate isn't quite so blank. I've gone through friends, forging new friendships that deflated like a balloon when you let it go before tying it. It's gotten to the point where I look around and I don't see anyone that I haven't tried (and failed) at being friends with. Some of the friendships never got off the ground, some briefly (very briefly) soared, some sort of faltered all along. And now I have all these histories with people. Guys I used to like, girls I remember hanging out with once or twice, social events where I didn't exactly make the best impression. And on and on.

Don't mistake this for a pity post, because it's not. It's just me, musing about the move. (Which, for some odd reason, I keep spelling MOVIE. Weirdness.) But I have thought maybe there's something wrong with me? Like something in me incapable of keeping friendships alive, incapable of actually making friends?

But that can't be it, can it? Because I'm capable of making friends. Really I am. Why not here though? Is it because I am inherently un-socal? Is it because I have nothing to contribute to conversations of hair dye and makeup? It's not because the first time I heard someone say they wanted to work at the Mac counter I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY MEANT... is it? I mean, seriously. Those are pretty weak and pathetic reasons. And I KNOW not everyone here is the same. So why does it seem like it? Why does it seem like there's one mold for everyone else in my geographic location and then another mold for me? And worst of all, what if it's not about where I live? What if I'm just a cynical, uggy, WEIRD girl who will never fit in anywhere ever again?

Ash's townie idea is looking pretty good right about now. (haha)