Your Smile On Fire : books

my active imagination

jordynt — Thu, 15 May 2008 03:59:00 GMT

Omg you guys. You can find anything on the internets.

Anything.

Including that old tv show of which I have been trying to gather proof of for, like, ever. Flash Forward. It was on Disney Channel way back when? And I mean way back. Like before Lizzie McGuire or Jett Jackson (um, anyone remember that one?) back.

And, guess what? It exists! ed. It existed.

Honestly. Sometimes I think I invent these things in my mind and they never really existed at all, I just made them up. Some other things I may or may not have made up in my twisted up mind?

The Great Bamboozlement. It was a book and this family lived on a boat and they were river merchants? And the kids had to lie to the thieves who were trying to rob them or something? Omg it was great. I loved it and have been looking for it FOREVER. Now, thanks to the internets and Amazon in particular, I have found it here. But no cover, so I can’t be totally sure if it’s the right one.
This book about this brother and sister who went to live in this big old house by a lake with their aunt and uncle? And there was a creepy house by the lake also or something? And they made friends and had a wonderful summer out in the middle of nothingness? Yeah. No idea what it’s called so the internets isn’t of much help. BUT! If you ever read a book that sound similar to this, please leave the title in the comments. It was a childrens’/middle grade book. And oh how I loved it.
You know the book The Gadget? (The first ever book I made my dad read?) Well, I forgot about it for a while and somehow got this idea that it didn’t exist and I had just made up in my mind a story with two-headed frogs and killer dogs in it. But no. This book is alive and well.
This kids’ picture book that aimed to convince us all that fairies are real? I read it when I was little and thought it was weird. Or at least, you know, I think I read it. You guys, the aliens are maybe playing tricks on me again.
A book with little people and they eat acorns or have acorn hats or something, and the girl in it wanted adventure or something. (See? Do you see this crazy peek into The Jordyn’s head that you are getting?)

That’s all the possibly-fiction stuff I can think of right now, but who else is wondering how this season of House (not to mention The Office!) will end?

I know, I know. TV addict. It’s all part of the plan, as I cackle real evil-like. Mwaa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!

In other news, both of my parents currently have reading assignments given to them by yours truly. Mom is supposed to be reading Sarah Dessen’s That Summer and Dad is supposed to read Nancy Werlin’s The Rules of Survival.

And now I have to watch American Idol and hope that the Archulater is booted off.

Hey. I can dream, can’t I?

i have awesome radio stories

jordynt — Thu, 08 May 2008 23:36:00 GMT

There’s a lizard outside my window, friendlies.

In other news, have you ever wondered why when you put in a DVD of The Office (assuming, of course, you have DVDs of The Office) the theme song is so loud you have to scramble to turn the volume down no matter how low it already was, but then the actual show comes on and you have to turn the volume up as high as it will go just to hear what they’re saying? Yeah. That’s annoying.

I’m counting how many books I have with the main character’s name in the title. Does anyone else do stuff like this? Probably not.

The answer, in case you were wondering? Ten. Suite Scarlett, Saving Zoe, Serafina67, The Murder of Bindy Mackenzie, The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, Harriet the Spy, The Alison Rules, and Hail Caesar. Jeez. I should have counted how many books have titles starting with the word the. Just because I call myself the Jordyn doesn’t make it okay for everything and everyone to do the same.

You can tell I have nothing to write about, can’t you?

Oh! Okay, so I just thought of something to tell you. Yesterday I was in the car, listening to the radio, going to the library. And anyways, some lady calls the radio station and the conversation between her and the DJ goes something like this;

Lady: Am I late?

Because this radio station is always giving stuff away. I think all of them are. Me and my cousins used to listen to The Impossible Question and try to answer it, which reminds me of a few more funny radio stories, but back to the one at hand. I’ll start over now because I’m sure you all forgot what the lady said by now. (Of course I’m assuming you’re all just like Dory.) Anyways;

Lady: Am I late?

DJ: For what?

Lady: I don’t know. Just, you know, whatever.

AND SHE SAYS THIS VERY LAID-BACK, LIKE SHE CALLS RADIO STATIONS ALL THE TIME JUST ASKING IF SHE’S LATE FOR SOMETHING. It was hilarious.

And also it makes me want to tell more radio stories. Like this one. It was March 6th, 2007 and I know that for sure because I just looked up the old email I wrote Michelle about it. See, I write people random emails like this fairly often. And don’t even bother to ask how my mind works that I actually remembered that. I boggle even myself sometimes. Anyway, this morning radio show was asking people to call in and tell what their obsessions were. So blah, blah, blah, obsessed with reality shows, shopping, motorcycles, whatever. Then this guy calls in and the DJ asks him what his obsession is and he says this, WORD FOR WORD, “Well, I don’t know if I would call it an obsession, but I do know that before I started playing World of Warcraft I used to do other things.”

Um, yes. I would call that an obsession. Worse, I would call it an addiction, but who am I to judge? Also, that was hilarious.

Oh, and I do have one more radio story to tell but before that a little bragging. I got a 95 on my preschool observation!! Picture me doing a little happy dance (my happy dance, incidentally, involves me jumping up and down as if I think I am a kangaroo. It is very wonderful). No but seriously friendlies, this is awesome. It means maybe I will get an A in the class? One can only hope.

And okay, on to the next radio story. I told you guys about how me and my cousins (and sister, of course) used to listen to a local radio station that had this thing called The Impossible Question. Usually the winner would win, like, a meal from Taco Bell or something, and Brad really wanted to win a taco. I’m not sure if it was about the winning or the taco (he’s a notorious cheap-o), but this is why we sometimes called in. (Well. He called in or Taylor called in. Not me. Maybe sometimes Mads would. Not me.) (Did I mention I never called in?) Back to the story. I forget what the question was this one time, but Bradis was talking to the radio guy and in the background Tay and Madisona were jumping around and being… well… loud. So after my cousin tells the DJ his answer their conversation goes something like this;

DJ: Are you in a zoo or something?

Bradisona: What? Oh, no, that’s just my sister and cousin.

You guys. I am not kidding you. That is what was said. That really happened. Do I not have the bestest cousins (and sister, but from now on out lets just assume that 98% of the time when I say “cousins” I mean “cousins and sister”) ever?

Yes. Yes I do.

Also, Madisona will be 12 very shortly. Wow we are all getting really old. Before you know it we will be all married and what not and will bore our children to death with stories about how “when me and your aunts and uncle were little.”

Oh crud, wait. Haha, they won’t be aunts and uncle! They will be second cousins! Oh well. We can just call them that anyways, right? Right? RIGHT?

this is difficult work

jordynt — Sun, 04 May 2008 02:14:00 GMT

So after doing this blog meme that basically told me I AM THE MOST UN-WELL READ PERSON EVER IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE, I decided to make my own list of books that I think you should read in order to be well-read. A 'recommended-for-us-all' reading list, if you will.

And, surprise surprise, this is incredibly hard. I'm leaving out a lot of books I personally love but know others wouldn't necessarily (Gone With the Wind, anyone?) as well as a lot that are required reading in schools but I don't really think you should have to read (The Great Gatsby, even though I loved it, many others hated it - HI MOM!!) And I'm adding a lot more recent books, mostly YA because (a) that's mostly what I read and, (b) when you start doing required reading in schools all the books become YA anyways... right?

But so far I only have nine FERSHUR books and six MAYBEBABY books. I think fifteen is a good rounded number for a MUST READ list, but I'm having some troubles deciding which the fifteen should be. I think I'm going to take Little Women off the list. I mean, it's a great book, don't get me wrong, but besides the fact that it's commonly regarded as GREAT LITERATURE, I really don't see why everyone should read it.

Plus I'm having a hard time keeping the list strictly fiction, despite the fact that I mostly read fiction (and YA fiction at that). I'm tempted to add a nonfiction amendment to it that has books like The Diary of Anne Frank and Tuesdays With Morrie.

I am a 21% narcissist.

jordynt — Fri, 02 May 2008 06:57:00 GMT

So I'm reading Generation Me, which is, omg, soo good. And anyways I just finished reading a chapter on the whole "teaching self-esteem in schools" thing and how it has probably led to more narcissism than actual self-esteem. So basically we are all narcissistic?

Well, I thought about that. And I decided that I probably think I have too many flaws to be a narcissist. Besides that, I'm kind of a perfectionist? Which while it sounds like it should be comparable to narcissism, really isn't. But still, I felt like I had to find out if I was really a narcissist.... so I did what you do in the 21st century when you want to find out who you are - I TOOK AN INTERNET QUIZ!! (Haha yes that was supposed to be either sarcastic or ironic or tongue-in-cheek... I'm not sure which because I'm still not entirely sure what tongue-in-cheek humor is. Someone care to fill me in?)

And blah-de-blah-blah, this quiz at beliefnet.com tells me that out of a possible 120 I scored a 25 on the narcissism scale. Um, hi. That's really low. That's like scoring 21%. And okay, it's great that I'm not a narcissist (but I kind of already knew that and while we're at it, why don't these quizzes ever tell me something about myself that I don't already know?) but seriously - 21%? I may as well be in negative numbers here!

The question is, does my low narcissism rating equal low self-esteem? (To this I go back to the wonderous internets for another quiz that will tell me what I already know!) My self-esteem rating is, according to the DiscoveryHealth website, 68 out of 100. Woot! But I could have told you that. I'm not sure if I have "high" or "low" self-esteem, but I'm pretty sure whatever it is, it's healthy enough. I mean I don't go around thinking I'm worthless or anything, but I also don't think I'm the most important person on the planet. But um, what was my point going to be? I should take a forgetfulness test... I'm pretty sure I could score 100% on that.

Anyways, along with this whole "narcissism" theme, I was looking at Teen magazine a few days ago, because it was there and Psychology Today wasn't, and I saw this poll. The poll asked readers if they would rather bring about world peace or become billionaires. And hopefully this will surprise you guys as much as it surprised me, but about 50-something% of them said they'd rather be billionaires than bring world peace. (prepare for flagrant sarcasm) Woo! Way to care way more about yourself than about the rest of humanity! Brownie points for narcissism!!

Haha. And for any of you who want to see if where you fall on the narcissistic and self-esteem scale, here are the links to the quizzes:

Narcissism Quiz

Self-Esteem Quiz

happy happy things because i don't want to think about the sad sad thing

jordynt — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:01:00 GMT

Hi friendlies.

Let's talk about something happy, okay? Because I don't want to talk about the sad stuff and there is always plenty of it and especially now. So things that are making me happy right now:

the music I am listening to... a playlist of songs that are wonderful. right now it's sara evan's 'born to fly'
texts from friends (right now, becca and michelle)
my room being the perfect temperature right now, which is amazingly rare
not going back to sleep this morning after I took taylor to donuts
my novel-in-progress, even if I'm not looking forward to the huge whopping dose of SAD in it and am trying to look for ways to get around it... and finding none. people will just have to deal with it.
the unread (and new!) sarah dessen book on my shelf (lock and key) which I am not going to read until I finish the mommy myth because I'm trying to read more nonfiction (even when the print is teeny tiny tiny)
having the colbert report, the paper, and the hills on dvr
the fact that 'bubba shot the jukebox' just started playing. best. song. evar!
finally starting to watch the star wars trilogy. yes, I realize I am woefully late on this one
that john and hank didn't stop making videos at the end of 2007
my bn member card! (thankyoumom)

In other news, have I mentioned my tiredness? Well I am. Which is weird because when I woke up at four I wasn't tired at all, then when I woke up again at six-forty I wasn't even that tired. But now I'm getting tired and thinking a nap, how yummy.

to do this summer: see friends

jordynt — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 04:08:00 GMT

So I know the semester doesn't end for me until June. (I know, so far away!) But considering that I'm getting impatient now that Becca's semester is over (or almost over...?) and Lisa just did that post about how she's out of school for a little while too, plus the fact that last time I talked to my cuzzie she said (most emphatically, might I add, even though it was only over msn messenger), "you need a FRIEND," and that I needed to get out more and go to parties.

Um... okay... whose parties? Going out would be a heck of a lot easier if I had people to go out with. You know, people I actually wanted to go out with and who wanted me around.

But I digress. All that has got me thinking of what I want to do this summer, which mostly includes lots of traveling. Word to the wise, this is what happens when none of your friends live in the same hemisphere as you. (Okay, okay, so hemisphere is stretching it. But it may as well be another hemisphere.)

I want Sarah to visit. I have to drill this into her head and get her to come out here!
I want Mich to visit. And I want to visit Mich. MEET HER FRIENDS! Yay!
And it goes without saying that I want to see Braddles and Maddies and go out to Arizona.
Also I want to finish the novel I'm working on now, or at least get a good part of it done.
Get a job! (Actually I'd like this to happen ASAP so that at least I could spend my money on books and stuff even if I don't have people to hang out with.
GO FISHING! And no, this is not summer-specific. I want to go fishing soon. Even maybe try ocean fishing? Fun.
I don't think the English class I need is offered during the summer (except from like 6-9 at night, which I so don't want to do) but if it were I would want to get it over with. So, summer classes?

Yes, I realize I can't visit everyone and get a job and take summer classes. I know that's a stretch and all those things take time and blahblahblah. But I can try, right?

Really. I want summer. And it's not even that I want to be done with school so soon, it's just that I want to see my friends.

Maybe I will be a hermit like Emily Dickenson. Just live somewhere all alone with, like, a bunch of cats or something. And no people. Just me. Okay kidding, I would go crazy. But I'm just saying... it's maybe starting to look more possible than I'd like?

books i don't like

jordynt — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 17:42:00 GMT

Hello friendlies. I'm sitting on my bed, in my jammies, listening to my mp3 player. WHICH IS NOT AN IPOD. But anyways.

I really have nothing to say, I just feel like writing.

Oh! Speaking of writing! My new novel-in-progress is up to... uh... 7,237 words. And it is going okay. I mean I'm having a lot of fun writing it but I don't know how good it is or if it is really just all sucky and boring.

Also, I did solve the book space dilemma, by pushing my Nancy Drews to the back and putting some hardcovers in front.

Hardcovers in front of my Nancy Drews: (in case you wondered)

An Abundance of Katherines
Sense and Sensibility
I'd Tell You I Love You But Then I'd Have To Kill You
Red
If I Have A Wicked Stepmother, Where's My Prince?
The Year of Secret Assignments
Girl at Sea
Better Than Yesterday
Define "Normal"

Sigh. I just spent too much time reading Meg Cabot's blog, which I actually enjoy even though I don't enjoy her books. And I can't ever pick up her books either, because it's the sort of thing where if I start reading it I can't stop even though the whole time I'm going why am I reading this, why am I reading this?? Ha sorries. I know there are a lot of serious Meg Cabot fans out there.

So just for fun? Some other books/authors I don't enjoy.

Meg Cabot
Gossip Girl series
Better Than Yesterday isn't so great
Nicholaus Sparks (or however you spell it)
The Hobbit
Sweet Valley series
Ender's Game

book space, quickly disappearing

jordynt — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 14:55:00 GMT

Okay friendlies, we are reaching critical mass. Which is a phrase I am apparently using incorrectly because according to the all-knowing Wikipedia, it means "a monthly bicycle-centered social movement." But in my case "we" means my bookshelf and "reaching critical mass" means is this close to not being able to hold all my books.

Case in point: (which I am using correctly) Last night when I was cleaning my room I went to put Crimes of the Sarahs away and IT DIDN'T FIT. Which was crazy because things had all fit all nice and cozy before, right? So I looked at my shelves, remembered I bought a new book, and thought, crud, I'm losing space. And really losing space when you count my new book and the one I'm supposed to be getting in the mail soon. And so, because I am set against getting rid of any of my precious books (even Crimes of the Sarahs, which I am only so-so about), I laid in bed last night pondering the situation.

And I think I might have a solution. If I push my Nancy Drews back then I can put some other books in front of them and voila! Another small shelf of book space. Except that it might look kinda silly and I really don't like doing that, so maybe I will just put the Nancy Drews up in my closet? I really don't know.

And it's not like I have a ton of books either. It's just that the top shelf of my tall bookcase is full of notebooks (yes, full, yes, notebooks) and the one below that has yearbooks and binders full of writing and a pile of Psychology Today so I really only use the bottom three shelves for books, plus a few shelves in my other bookcase. Yes, I'm sure this was boring to all of you, but oh well. I'll report back once I solve the book space problem, lol.

OH, and PS, if anyone wants to read about bicycle-centered social movements, go here.

a rant on fluffiness.

jordynt — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 03:36:00 GMT

Okay. I have a few things to say tonight.

Remember how way back when I said I wanted to do a post on the bible and religion? Do you also remember how unlike the many prophecies in the bible, that never quite came to pass? Um, well. I am still working on it and still very much planning on writing it. The problem is that because I care about this subject more than any other, I really really want it to be good and well thought out and well written and overall the sort of post on the bible and religion that doesn't polarize people, which talk of religion/the bible tends to do. I'm trying to avoid that. Also it might be more than one post because there is a lot I want to say.
I am on LIPSTICKING, with a wonderous quote about kindergarten and growing up and Kelsey, who I don't actually talk to all that much anymore (cue sad face; she is an awesome person), but who is turning out to be exactly who she always knew she would be, which is awesome. (Haha actually we're both turning out to be exactly who we knew we would be. Amazing.)
I also have plenty to say about the re-release of the Sweet Valley High books and the controversial (and, um, awful?!) move of them changing Elizabeth and Jessica's size from a "perfect" 6 to a "perfect" 4. Puke. I'm planning on posting this particular rant both here and over at Page Numbered, which if you don't already know is my book blog that I am totally loving.
And NOW for today's post, which is something I've been thinking a lot about...

I know I don't exactly write high-brow stuff. I write about teenage girls and crushes and friendships and the little insignificant moments in life. I write about wanting to grow up and not wanting to grow up and all that stuff that I'm facing or will face or have faced.

I write young adult. And, okay, you can call it fluff if you want to. I know that (assuming my books see the light of day), I will never write something like To Kill A Mockingbird or anything else that makes everyone stop and think. I won't write anything that changes the lives of so many people and I won't be standing up and accepting the Pulitzer or Nobel prize. And I know, I know not everyone thinks the fiction I write is worth anything.

But here's the thing: call it fluff or nonsense or whatever you want, but I have to believe it isn't. I have to believe, for the sake of my sanity, that my words can hurt or help or change someone. I have to believe, and I do believe, that my words have power. Power that not everyone is going to see, but power nonetheless.

I have this notebook, purchased at Borders (R.I.P. and please don't die) for more money than I'd like to admit. Some spend $300 on a new pair of shoes, I buy a few sheets of paper for $15. But anyways. In this notebook I have quotes from books. By far the large majority of these books are fiction, mostly young adult, and exactly the sort of stuff that is considered fluff. I've got Maureen Johnson and E. Lockhart and Sarah Dessen and many others that you probably haven't even heard of. But the thing is... those lines, the "fluff" words in that book? They matter to me. They're lines, words, passages that spoke to me, that hurt or helped or changed me somehow. Honestly (and you can think I'm being kooky here if you want to) I think that words have this power. I think that everything we read has the ability to change us, to mold us just a little bit or help us see things in the right light. And I think it has that ability whether its nonfiction or fiction, classics or young adult - as long as it hits someone in just the right way, it's worth it. It matters. Mostly what I have in the book are quotes that capture emotions, that assure me I am not alone. For example, these few lines from the ARC of The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks, which I love love love:

It didn't matter that in her heart Frankie knew she was smart and charming.

What mattered was that feeling of being expendable. That to Porter, she was a nobody that could easily be replaced by a better model -- and the better model wasn't even so great.

Which meant that Frankie herself was nearly worthless.

Or this one, from The Truth About Forever:

You never got used to it, the idea of someone being gone. Just when you think it's reconciled, accepted, someone points it out to you and it just hits you all over again, that shocking.

I'm not sure quite how to transition from here and all I'm really trying to do is selfishly defend my own writing and maybe it is fluff and maybe it will never matter to anyone, but I don't think so. I think there are moments of realism and relatability and I think that it matters in a very small way and I refuse to think that what I want to do with my life and this great passion that I have for words and storytelling and creating characters that are real is entirely superficial. I have to believe it matters.

princesses!!

jordynt — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 21:25:00 GMT

I started a new novel. Um, yay me? I don't know. I think maybe the problem with the one I gave up was that I really loved the premise (and still do) but elements of it were too much like the novel I'm curently querying, and besides that it didn't have too much of an arc. This one I'm writing now basically defies the whole "write what you know" wisdom, but I'm hoping it'll work out. I think it will. (Cue the Little Engine That Could, "I think I can, I think I can.")

In other news, a while back my sister came in my room and pulled out all the books that she'd read so she could look at the way tall stack and be proud of herself. So now I have a bunch of books that aren't in my bookcase and it is driving me crazy. I don't mind so much that the rest of my room isn't exactly ***-n-span, as long as the books are nice and tidy. I am obsessive about my books. I am very envious of that one part in Beauty and the Beast, where Belle walks into the library and there's books EVERYWHERE. It is amazing.

In a related story, I finally saw Enchanted, and people were not joking when they said it was an awesome movie. I loved it, which is a lot to say considering my history with fairy tales is not exactly a lovey one. I mean, I like most of them perfectly fine. But not great or anything. The only fairy tale I really love love love and always have is Beauty and the Beast. I can't really take Cinderella, and Snow White is good but kind of eh. I don't know. I like the movies but I usually don't like the characters, if that makes any sense.

I mean seriously, couldn't Cinderella have found a different way to get out from under the thumb of her evil stepmother besides marrying this guy she didn't even know and inheriting this big huge castle and everything? Trust me, she would not know how to be a princess or a queen or whatever it was she turned into.

And Snow White? Eating food given to her by a scary-looking stranger? When she lives out in the middle of nowhere? How stupid can you be!? What she should have done was locked the doors and maybe called on her woodland friends to protect her from the creepy lady outside.

Okay, and let's move onto Ariel. She basically made a pact with the devil of the sea, which makes her even dumber than Snow White. I won't even get into what happens to her in the non-Disney versions (I love the Disney versions, actually), but trust me, it does NOT work out so well for her.

But actually I like Jasmine. Her and Belle are totally awesome.

(Ya, I know I forgot that Sleeping Beauty chick but I'm really not sure... have I ever seen that whole movie? All her role seemed to be was sleeping anyways so nothing exciting there.)

So this is why I don't read many fairy tales. I actually am reading Gail Carson Levine's Fairest though - I like her books. I'm weird in that I'll love some fairy-tale-ish books or stories and hate others. It's odd.

teacherly post

jordynt — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 03:13:00 GMT

Something happened to me between the time I started school, way back in 1995, and now. And I think it was more than getting taller or learning math. Someone must have stole the time because some days I would swear it was just yesterday that I was sitting next to Kelsey in Mrs. Reinhold's classroom, envying the neat and perfect way her art projects turned out - nothing like mine, my sloppy messes.

I think I've begun to grow up. Although the many stuffed animals staring at me from inside my closet beg to differ.

And what with going to college and taking my child development class and seeing how much our early years affect the rest of our lives, I can't help but think that a lot of the reason for who I am now and who I am going to become has to do with the teachers I had. Teachers I want to write to and say, depending on when I knew them, hey, remember me? I missed a truckload of days in your class and it's possible you didn't even notice when I was there because I was so quiet? Well I'm doing good. And I got an essay published. And I'm going to college. And I'm not really that little girl I was before but I still feel like that girl most of the time.

Teachers I'd like to thank?

Mrs. Reinhold. She was my kindergarten teacher, with the sing-song voice. What I remember of her class is the Lollipop Dragon, Letter People, Zero the Hero, being absent the day Smokey the Bear came in, Jameson, Kelsey, Emily, Lacey calling me while I was in the hospital, Sterling saying he didn't know how to pray. Rainbow Fish, falling off the swings backwards and having Jameson run to tell the teacher then everyone being surprised when I was fine. Going to the hospital on Emily's Special Day, being in the hospital a lot.
Miss Perry. Second grade. I remember Nishi telling me, day after day, that I had a boy's name. I remember Afrin and Travis and both of the Chris'. I remember tornado drills because that was the year I lived in Texas, not knowing how to do division when everyone else did, writing lots of stories and winning the award at the end of the year, Tops in Writing Stories. I wonder, when teachers give out those silly little awards that really mean nothing, if they actually think they matter or if they just like to make kids feel happy and special. I don't think I was good at writing stories in second grade because all my stories basically sucked, but I did write more of them than anyone else in the class.
Mr. Petersen. Fourth grade. This was the teacher who hung wooden airplanes from the ceiling and maybe that was the first reason I thought I would like that class. I remember Alex, Zach, Horizons, lots of girls who were nice to me and a few who weren't. I remember sitting on the steps outside reading during recess and Jessica and Brandy calling me "Toothpick", asking me if I ever ate. I remember reading The Whipping Boy and thinking it wasn't as good as everyone made it sound. I remember Mr. Petersen making math and science fun, somehow, so for the rest of school I kind of actually learned to like parts of it more than I would have.
Mr. Shutte. Horizons. I remember so much from this class, but mostly being goofy and crazy and incredibly truly geeky and loving every second of it. I remember doing those matrix things and watering the plants in the greenhouse and learning about Egypt, the solar system, wildlife. Learning so much more than I did in regular classes. Also I remember being in the hospital during sixth grade and Mr. Shutte giving me a bunch of the matrix worksheets to keep me busy, if I felt like doing them. Which I did. Because they were fun.
Mr. Graves. Seventh grade math. He was the teacher who always asked what book I was reading.
Mrs. Mosely. Jr. high journalism. We actually talked about stuff in this class, debating abortion and homosexuality and current events and other things you didn't talk about the rest of the time in school.
Mrs. Peterson. Acadec, English. I remember show don't tell, failing my paper the first three times I wrote it, coming home and crying the first time I got one of her papers back. Then learning that I wasn't the first student she'd made cry. I remember loving her class, learning about poetry when I'd never liked it before because there was no one to explain it to me, studying Greek philosophers and old literature and learning about the Holocaust. I remember feeling sorry, at the end of the year, that I wouldn't get to take her AP English class in eleventh grade.
Mr. Whatshisface. I don't remember his name but he was my Social Studies teacher Freshman year and he had us all watch Dr. Zhivago then write two essays on it. I wish I still had mine. I really hated the movie but I really liked writing about it and getting to explain why I hated it. I'm always the worst at Social Studies and this class was no different, but my teacher seemed to sense that I wasn't as dumb as my grades showed.

So. There. My list and there's probably more but these were the real big ones I remember.

My Life? Um, No.

jordynt — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:05:00 GMT

Haven't wrote in here in a while I guess. I don't know how long, probably just a day, but it feels like a while.

In other news, I feel the need to write a short story. A flickr inpsired short story, only I can't decide which of my favorite pictures (I have a lot) to write it about. Um, yeah, never mind the fact that if I work on anything right now it should really be my novel-in-progress. I want to do a short story!!

So hopefully I will. Write a flickr-inspired short, that is.

In other news, I have hit on something that is, apparently, difficult for people to do. And that thing is to seperate the writer from the writing when they are very close to the writer. I realized this when my dad, in Georgia, sent me a text message wondering about the father-daughter relationship in my novel.

Ohmygoodness.

Okay I know fiction is supposed to have a grain of truth in it (like all good lies, lol) and that, yes, what I write is somehow intrinsically tied to myself. But really, friendlies, it is all just a string of things my overactive imagination came up with. I get "inspiration," if you wanna be cliche like that (and I do) from songs on the radio or something someone says or a picture on flickr. If I wanted to write about my own life and the people in it, I would. And I do, but that's what personal private journals are for. But no, I want to write about imaginary people with imaginary parents and friends and lives. And somehow I want to make those imaginary people real enough that they don't seem so imaginary anymore, so real that they might be someone you'd be friends with or have a crush on or avoid altogether. But it's just... fiction. False. Lies. Whatever you want to call it.

Here's something. Mostly my characters and the relationships between them are just in my stories because they work. I really don't don't don't want to write about the people I know because that's boring. I want to write about people I don't know, about people I don't have to deal with every day and people who aren't a part of my everyday surroundings. I want to write about the girl who runs away, the friends who reconnect after four years apart, the mystery life of a couple in a found photograph. I want to write about stuff that happens, stuff that could happen, but not stuff that happens to me. I live my life, okay? I don't need to write quasi-fiction about it.

And this is why I'm always wary of letting others - especially people who know me super-well, like my parents - read my stuff. Everyone seems to have the idea that it's my story about me, when really it's just the story I wrote. They look for hidden meanings in words that have nothing to do with them and think I have some "ulterior motive." And that's just really hard to combat. Has anyone else noticed this when they let ones close to them read their writing?

kid plan

jordynt — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 06:43:00 GMT

I still feel like I've been ran over by a train, but at least I'm happy now.

And I can't say why, but boy am I happy!!

In a related story, lalalalala is all I can think right now and it's nearly midnight so not only can I not tell my East Coast friends now (Mich, Becca), but I also can't tell anyone on the West Coast.

THINKABOUTSOMETHINGELSE THINKABOUTSOMETHINGELSE....

Um, ok. I'd rather not think about English class. Or my sore throat. Or my killing headache. Or the fact that I probably won't be getting to sleep anytime soon. And I still don't have a job.

What I need right now is a meme or survey thing so I don't have to actually think about what to write.

Ok here's something. I feel like everyone around me is growing up so fast. Like this one girl I know, 19 and getting married next month. I don't see anything wrong with it but it's part of this recent epidemic I'm seeing of my peers moving out (or wanting to move out), going to college, having boyfs and girlfs. One of my friends just emailed me about her college sightsee trip. I talked to another one today whose planning on combining 11th and 12th grades so she can graduate on time.

Even me, I shouldn't even be in college yet and I am. I mean granted I'm living at home and going to a community college, but still.

And my old best friend from Arizona just got her license. Which just brings us to a whole other level of weirdness because omg Mom, CHELSEY GOT HER LICENSE. The height of weirdness. I literally can't believe it.

I talk to Sarah sometimes. 20, going to college, not quite sure what she's going to do but at least she's working and blahblahblah so much better than a lot of people I could think of. And she's telling how she'll be 21 soon and how her old friend is getting married and how everyone is asking her when she'll be getting married. And we're both like OMG KNOCK IT OFF PLEASE JUST LET US GO SEE HORTON HEARS A WHO AND THE GROWN UP LIFE WITH THE BOYF-WHO-BECOMES-THE-HUBBY AND THE HOUSE AND THE INSURANCE CAN WAIT. PLEASE?

Because that's how I feel sometimes, like everyone is so ready to move on to the next thing that they don't really get a chance to see what they have now. And I mean, I'm excited for my future. Like really excited. For the first time I'm more excited than I've ever been about things since the move. But still, I'm not really ready to be there yet, you know? I still want to have a while longer watching American Idol with my parents and having Taylor sit in front of my bookcase while I shove books at her and say, "This one's good and this one's good and ooh, this one's really good." I'm still a kid, really. I just happen to be a kid with a plan is all.

this is awesome and dorkish

jordynt — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 01:11:00 GMT

ERIKA!!!!

(and whoever else might be interested)

I just found the most amazingly dorky thing ever!! The BSC wikipedia! No, not kidding!

Haha. Yay. :)

Oh and also? I always knew those girls went through 8th grade a little too often, but until I found this site I never realized they repeated the eighth grade TEN TIMES. Omg. I mean, I loved eighth grade and all (not kidding) but TEN TIMES? By the time the series ended they should have been TWENTY-THREE.

Haha you can probably expect a lengthier BSC post later on. Because I'm cool like that.

this is bullet-pointed and FUN!

jordynt — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 04:34:00 GMT

Blogger's block blogger's block blogger's block!

Stream-of-consciousness writing, anyone? Ha, this is the type of writing I usually resist because, hello, I can't stand not using correct punctuation and stuff and going back and deleting the words I don't like. I enjoy being able to edit myself although really I am a terrible editor if I wait until I'm finished to do it.

But here goes nothing...

ok guys, I can't do this. I have to actually be able to write stuff, not just WHATEVER-IS-ON-MY-MIND.

Oh mann, here's the song White Flag by Dido. Ah I love this song sooo much.

In other news:

The B52's new cd, Funplex, is coming out the 25th. And I have a babysitting job on Wednesday so I'll actually be able to buy it. Yay! Although really I should probaby get my parents something for their (very belated) wedding anniversary, right? I mean even though they keep saying OH NO DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO GET US ANYTHING... I still should. Right? Right?
But I'm probably going to get myself the cd. I can't decide on what to get them anyways. Any ideas? AND PLEASE DON'T LEAVE IDEAS IN THE COMMENTS BECAUSE MY MOMMY READS THIS BLOG AND THAT DEFEATS THE PURPOSE. If you have a stellar idea, just email it to me plz kthx. jordynt[at]redthebook[dot]com
Also I am looking for book recommendations. Feel free to leave these in the comments. No fantasy please and no scifi because I am woo, very picky about my scifi. But anything else YA plus exceptional books for grown people and good nonfiction. I am open to ideas, really I am.
I CURRENTLY HAVE NO DOOR! I don't want to blame this on my sister, but, well, it did come off its hinges when she touched it. She doesn't know her own power. (And yes, all jokes aside, she really is freakishly strong.) But really I miss having a door. My dad suggested putting beads up, "like a hippie," and while I am fully open to the hippie idea I actually don't like the fact that there's nothing stopping people from WALKING RIGHT THOUGH those beads. So yeah, hopefully my dad will fix the door.
I feel like making playlists for myself.

Ok well. Ttfn, as Tigger would say.