writer girl plus internet equals blog

I don't know what else to call this, because I'm just going to basically tell you all where I stand politically before going into more detail in future posts. I love the idea of this, all of us doing political posts, because I'm really interested in politics. I want to work in politics (maybe in the United Nations), and will probably study either political science or international relations in college. Right now in school, I'm taking AP US Government and Politics online, and while it's not the greatest class ever, the subject is interesting.

I'm very liberal, politically. I am pro-choice. I believe in liberal immigration reform--that is to say, letting more people into the country in the first place and creating an amnesty policy for those already here, rather than deporting millions and building a physical barrier to Mexican immigration (which is ridiculous and stupid...but that's another post). I am an environmentalist. I hate George Bush and *** Cheney. I want universal healthcare. Etc. 

I will not be able to vote in the 2008 elections, unfortunately. I'll still be five months away from being eighteen. My best friend will, though--he's already registered. And he's not as into politics as I am--doesn't read the news so much. So I get to influence his vote! I also run a kids' voting booth, to teach younger kids about democracy. The apathy I saw this year (it was just city elections, but those are still really important, just less publicised) was really sad.

If you're old enough to vote, please, do so! Democracy is important. We all claim to love our freedom and want to protect our democracy...But so few Americans vote. So few even bother to register to vote! It's really awful. If you love your country and your freedom and our democratic republican ideals, then vote!  

Happy 2008, everybody! 2007 was a pretty good year for me--I traveled overseas for the first time, I kept up my good school record, I got a job, I had a lot of fun times with my friends, and, oh yeah, I got published! Even if it wasn't great for you, well, it's over now, and on to 2008! New year's resolutions or goals of any sort, anyone? I have some, kind of.

In 2008:

I want to read 365 books. This was a goal in 2007, too, but I only got to about 300. So I'm trying it again!

I want to finish a novel. Or at least a 50,000 word manuscript--I've been thinking maybe interconnected short stories? Whatever it turns out to be, I want to finish one. Some people do it in a month (NaNoWriMo), but I'm giving myself a year, so I'd better do this one!

I want to be a better blogger--at least one or two posts a week here (at least one political post a week--political blogging per Amy's request), and better in a lot of ways on my other blog (my book blog--what I want to do there in 2008, well, check it out if you're interested: teenbookreview.wordpress.com).

I want to write in my journal more often. Once or twice a week. And longer entries.

I want to  take up roller skating. I ice skate, getting pretty good, actually, and there's little I love more than the feeling of going around the rink, ice under my blades, it's just, wow, amazing. Unfortunately, there's not a permanent rink in my town, so I'm going to try roller skating/blading, something I've never done extensively. I mean, there were a few birthday parties here and there, but that's it.

I want to keep my books more organised and my room cleaner!

I want to go at least once place exciting. I love travel, and in 2007 I did quite a bit--England, Gibraltar, New York City, Spain, and Morocco. Nothing of that scale is planned for '08, but I still want to go at least one place exciting, if only for a few days. I was thinking Chicago or Toronto, maybe over Spring Break. Or maybe California. I've never been to California. That Vanessa Carlton song always makes me want to go to San Francisco. Or maybe back to New York again, as I loved it so much. Hmm. Possibilities!

I want to budget my money better. Saving for a big trip in 2009, and I don't have much in the bank. I'm going to stop going out as much. Or at least convince my friends to do free things with me. Also stop buying so many books.  

I want to be a happier person. Happiness is always good. I've found some of it lately, and I want to work on that--work on not worrying about what other people think all the time and being happy with who I am.

I want to work harder in school and keep my straight-A record, as well as a score over 2200 on the SAT. 

So, yeah, that's it. New Year's Resolutions, I guess, although I prefer to call them goals, because these are things I'm trying to do, not that I've resolved to do, because I mean, I'm not going to be devastated if I don't complete them all. They're things I'm working for, but that's it. What about you guys? Any goals for 2k8?

I told my best friend about RED. Yeah, I know, that shouldn't be a big deal and I should have done it ages ago. I didn't even tell him about it when I went to New York! Before him, one other friend knew about it, who I told in a moment of sleep-deprivation, and the only people who had read it were my mom, aunt, grandparents, my mom's boss (yeah, weird, she gave it to him) and my fourth grade teacher (again, passed on by my mom without permission). My friend, he hasn't read it yet. I forgot to give him the book when he took me home tonight. But, I will. I mean, I knew I couldn't keep a secret from my best friend forever. I just...I didn't want to share. I don't like to share. I don't even care if he knows the stuff about the guy that's in the essay. He knew it at the time, and he knows I don't like that guy anymore. That's not what matters. What matters is, I'm a published author and I didn't want anyone to know that.

Yeah, that's weird, I guess. But I don't like people knowing things about me, good or bad. Why not bad is obvious. But why not good? I don't know. It's like, last week, my PSAT scores. I'm okay telling you guys here that they were good. Well, better than good. I mean, I'm proud of it. Highest in the school. But...I didn't want the whole school knowing that. I showed my score report to a couple of my friends and my guidance counselor, and, well, it got around. Students, teachers, administrators. They know. I don't want them to know. I don't know why. My mom just said I should be proud of it. But I don't like all the attention! Which, of course, makes blogging hard, when you don't like attention, but I'm trying here :-)

What else to blog about? I wish I could write good, put-together blog entries, but writing something about me, that, with the click of a button is visible to the world, makes me nervous. So I'll end this one, but next up on blog topics: my TV obsession. Sorry, Saskia :-) But I'm a TV junkie! 

There's some nostalgia going on here (on this website) today.

 I'm not so much a part of that. I mean, I do have good memories of some things. There are times and places I wish I could go back to sometimes. Moments in time. But, really, I'm more about the future than the past. You can't change the past, and you can't go back there, but you can make the future better. 

I don't daydream about memories I miss nearly as much as I dream about what I can do in the future.

I am a junior in high school. I'm literally counting the days until I graduate. I don't think I'll miss high school. When my older friends graduate, well, I miss them, sure, but more than that, I'm really jealous! I'm stuck in high school, and they're not. For ten years, I begged my mother to homeschool me. She said I needed socialisation so I had to go to school.

Are there classes I like? Yeah, but they're few and far between. Will I miss some of my friends when I graduate? Yeah, but my desire to get out of high school far overpowers that. There are people I'll miss a lot, but I'm okay with that. It's part of life. Moving on from what you're comfortable with, getting out there in the world.

Today was my first day of winter break. I spent time with some of my friends and some other people from school. Ice skating downtown. I love to ice skate. I didn't get out on the ice so much today because I cut my foot yesterday and it hurt. Then, some of us walked down to the Double Decker, a few blocks (5-10 minute walk) away. It's a coffee shop housed in a double-decker bus. The big red kind, you know what I mean. I had a diet coke and a cheese danish.  But none of that is the point of the story.

What's the point? There are several. One, I would enjoy my hometown a lot more if I got to go downtown more. It's nice there. But it's too far away from where I live! Two, I like these people. I have a social life. That's kind of amazing for me, the girl who had no friends except the ones my mother made me socialise with and the kids who didn't speak English (so I didn't have to talk to them) in elementary school. And then in sixth grade I had no friends. Since then, my social life has become more of a social life. I don't know how I feel about that. You'd think, it's a good thing. And sometimes it is. But with having that, a group of friends, comes stress and drama. You know how it is. Sometimes I think I'd be better off without all that Does that make me weird?

Sorry for the rambling. 

Second blog post today, making up for the lack of blog posts from before I guess.

Today I was told I have "poise" by a friend of mine. Not a close friend. A girl I used to quite dislike, but now consider her to be between acquaintance and friend, I guess. Not the point.

But what is poise? She said, "you act like you know how to handle yourself." Hmm. I do? I have poise?

Definition of poise from dictionary.com: a dignified, self-confident manner or bearing; composure; self-possession. 

I have that? Who knew? I don't think I have that. I wish I did, it sounds nice. But why did Darrah say I had poise? Poise. Hmm. I've typed it so many times it hardly sounds like a word.

I'm too shy to have a "self-confident manner," aren't I? Isn't that one of the things I'm supposed to be working on, confidence?

Or do I have more of it than I thought? Can you be confident and not know it? 

 I know, it's been a long time since I wrote a blog post. Sorry.

I was just thinking about music. My taste in music. It's what some people would call awful, I know. My friends who have music-snob tendencies just shake their heads in disgust. It's also kind of eclectic. Vanessa Carlton, Delasonica, Maren Ord, Belinda, Emmy Rossum, Natasha Bedingfield, Good Charlotte, Evanescence, Juanes, Switchfoot, Three Doors Down, The Veronicas, JD Natasha, Linkin Park, Nickelback. 

I don't really care what those who turn up their noses at my taste in music have to say, though. When I'm looking for music I love, it just matters if I like it, not if other people do. And, admittedly, I don't have the most discriminating tastes. But is that bad? I don't think so.

Despite my taste in music, I don't know what I'd do without it. My music, that is. My iPod, before that my CD player. I feel like my life needs a soundtrack, honestly. The moments I remember most are always associated with music, often music that was actually playing, sometimes music that was playing only in my head.  When I was told that smell was the strongest memory trigger, I said no, mine was music. Smell does nothing for me.

Despite my strong feelings about this, I can't create good music for anything. I took guitar lessons for awhile. I sing in the privacy of my own home. Can't do it. I guess I'll just keep listening. The job I used to want to have was picking movie soundtracks. Still seems like the coolest thing ever, but I have other goals now.

The soundtrack to the moment I'm writing this blog post: Slow Me Down by Emmy Rossum and Nolita Fairytale by Vanessa Carlton. 

 Hello, blog readers. Blogging is weird for me. I do write a journal, but that's seriously personal. And this? It's on the internet for all to see.

Anyway, the future. I'm a junior in high school, and, at some point, my future will include college, most likely. Except not if we all die in some sort of apocalypse before then. But, most likely, I will go to college, to study political science and middle east studies. First, I want to take a gap year, to travel, though. Something which is apparently much more acceptable in other parts of the world than in the US, but whatever.

 While in NYC for the release party, I visted four institutions of higher education: Fordham University (Lincoln Center campus), Barnard College, Columbia, and NYU. I hated Barnard and Columbia. I loved Fordham and NYU, pretty equally, although they are very different. 

However, I might not go to either one of those even if I'm accepted. I actually kind of want to go overseas, to England, maybe. Or to Sweden--they have English-language university programs there, and tuition is free. 

Cost of living for an American in Europe, though! And tuition (although this does not apply to Sweden)! It's so expensive! Not like NYU or Fordham is cheap; it is my mother's dream that my dream suddenly becomes to study somewhere in-state. UNC Chapel Hill, maybe. But I would hate that! I mean, Carolina's a great school, yes, but not for me. I don't know how I'm going to pay to go to a private school, though. It'll mean loans and job and hopefully scholarships, but I'd rather work hard to go where I want than more easily go somewhere I don't want to.

I'm not sure there was much of a point to this blog other than rambling on about my possible future, but whatever. 

This is my first blog post, on the day before I leave for NYC, for the RED release party.

Wow.

I'm a published author. Anybody in the world can read what I have written. Anybody. It hasn't quite gotten to me yet, but I imagine the NYC experience will make it all the more real.

It's exciting, sure. Just like my mom keeps asking, "aren't you excited?"

Well, yeah, I am. And honored to be a part of this great project. But I'm also more than a little nervous. Terrified might even be the proper word.

I am shy. I can write and let the world see on the internet, yes. I can't always talk to people, but, still, talking isn't exactly permanent. Having something in a book, an actual printed book...That's pretty permanent. Unless we go back to Nazi Germany and the bookburning or something. But I digress.

Anything I write on the internet, I can delete if I so choose. Most things I say, will be eventually forgotten. But if it's sitting on a bookcase somewhere, anyone can pick it up whenever they want, as many times as they'd like. They can pick it up, feel the book in their hands, smell the book (if they so choose...I, personally, like the smell of books), hear the pages rustle, read it out loud, photocopy it, take it out in public to read in a park or on a bus...If they forget, they can just read it again. It's so much more concrete.

See why it's scary?