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  • Why am I so out of it?? Part one: When I can’t decide how to pass the time…

    Help me understand as I attempt to force the glimpses of revelation confined to note form into one coherent blog. Im not my usual self right now and my thoughts cannot form without registering this trying unfamiliar fog. I could be sick, but with what is a question Im not ready to asses. Instead I assume its a combination of exhaustion and ...
    Posted to saml (Weblog) by saml on 05-20-2008
  • I get so attached to my writing, even my emails, I really like learning about myself

      Yay!! So nice to talk to someone [who listens *cough* male mutual firend *cough*] about all these intricacies in life. Its hard though, the brick wall is unavoidable. At the end of the day at least half of the reasons I believe what I believe is because this particular illusion pushes the right psychological buttons and puts me at ease. I ...
    Posted to saml (Weblog) by saml on 05-09-2008
  • Somebody tell me something worthwhile

    Please- anything
    Posted to saml (Weblog) by saml on 05-01-2008
  • I’m getting all Emo again

    I have the chills. What am I doing numbing Mental breakdown- Mental breakdown- Hips- cold. I dont why. I remember looking up at him.   But the kaleidoscope of phallic images was not what I thought I wanted. Dancing- jagged sharp steps counter-intuitively stylized- I will forever know to count the beat and ride the wave of ...
    Posted to saml (Weblog) by saml on 04-30-2008
  • Listless again

    Im pissed because I believed him when he said I didnt get it- I believed him when he called me a filthy whore who couldnt fathom a life of morals where hooking up for the sake of hooking up was blasphemy and self destructive- He made me believe that I lacked strength and willpower and that he refused to take advantage of my over generosity ...
    Posted to saml (Weblog) by saml on 04-27-2008
  • Depressing Poem from a depressing moment

    Im freezing here alone And theres nothing I will do The warmth in my control And yet my troubles freezing too  I have a choice and no choice at all With in the prison cell of being I will not escape the confines, This is who I tend to be The ends are all the same And the method of denial What the human calls the self Is naught ...
    Posted to saml (Weblog) by saml on 04-21-2008
  • I like this blog

      Here I can remember that Im alive, make sense of my mental and physical circumstance and offer myself to something or someone else out there: All without having to decorate my tone or phrasing to coax some defensive, condescending, skeptic into listening. In this machine, I dont have to defend my intentions or exercise caution to limit ...
    Posted to saml (Weblog) by saml on 04-09-2008
  • Hey

    I had a conversation with these two guys over break and for the first time, I picked up on the pervading insanity in the male species. Guys are nuts.  But I know girls are nuts too. I dont know. Ive been feeling bitter; really fucking bitter about the existence of relationship dynamics and the fact that having one is important to me at ...
    Posted to saml (Weblog) by saml on 03-19-2008
  • Spring Break in this lonely Dorm Room; Lessons from the months back in college

    You know how Im all about presenting internal conflicts despite the fact that self-care is deemed weak by society?  As I believe Indifference is a pathetic disguise masquerading beneath the term socially acceptable. We are afraid to take care of our emotions simply because we would then be admitting vulnerability to intangible burdens. ...
    Posted to saml (Weblog) by saml on 03-08-2008
  • Hey two poems from writing 1 class

    Hi Jordyn... How have you been? I'm not back yet but break is coming soon... Yay!! For now I'm mostly posting assignments.   Wakeful Being      Like Bathing in Candlelight   Swimming in the lull of warm   Sensation of beating, flowing, falling    Ripples at the navel   Like the ...
    Posted to saml (Weblog) by saml on 02-28-2008
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