Sorry for being a terrible blogger. Lately I've also been a terrible student, daughter, friend, and blog reader, among other things, so it's not just this part of my life that is suffering. Yay me.
Ahem. Anyway, I promise better posts at some point in the future, but for now, just something I don't really want to share with any of my friends but am for some reason relatively comfortable sharing with the internet in general....
Three years ago or so, there was a guy, a friend of mine. He was pretty great, and the class I had with him was a part of my day I really looked forward to. He was one of the few people at the time who I felt like I could be myself with. We had some great times in art and gym class (they alternated days and we had both together), and I still can't see a gym uniform from that school or a piece of art I did in that class without thinking about him.
One Thursday, we parted ways after school and he said, "See you tomorrow."
I never saw him again.
I still don't know what happened. He just vanished. He had existed on the outskirts of school society, so most everyone--teachers and students alike--quickly forgot him. The art teacher moved another kid into his desk just a few days later, just shrugging when I asked where he would sit when he came back.
I haven't really quit thinking about him or his mysterious disappearance without so much as a goodbye. I thought we were friends and I deserved at least that, but apparently not. At first, I missed having him around, but now, why do I still think about him? Is it some idea of him that I miss, or actually him, or am I just still bothered at the mystery of his disappearance and pissed off that he didn't even say goodbye?
I think it's all three.
Am I crazy to still spend far too much time searching for some trace of him on the internet when he's a vague memory to the handful of people here who remember him? It's futile; he has a common name. Why do I care so much? Why couldn't I just let him slide quietly out of my life as so many people have done through the years? What's wrong with me? I only knew him for a few months. What about him made that impact on me? I have no idea. Am I crazy?