Your Smile On Fire

...from the song Xavia

thinking of my perfect moments

     I'm thinking right now about perfect moments. You know what I mean. Those seconds, infinitely small frames in time that you wish you could freeze in a snapshot. Sometimes these moments, after enough time goes by, fade away. They take a backseat to all the other stuff in your mind; the math tests and friends' phone numbers and more recent memories. But some of them, the really special ones, remain forever.


     My first perfect moment, I remember, was the day I turned four years old. I think. I could have been turning three... I'm not sure. In any case, I woke up early, so early it wasn't entirely light out yet, and went into the living room, where my parents were sitting, just talking, with the window behind them and snow, that fairy tale white stuff, falling in the background. I don't know what it was, whether the lull of their voices or the fact that I was turning four (or three) or the snow outside, or a combination of the three. But somehow, that moment was so perfect and I was so amazingly contented, that I've never forgot it.

     The second perfect moment was later. I was seven, living in Texas, and driving in the car with my dad. In that blue car we used to have. (Or was it green? My memory fades; it was a long time ago.) I don't remember where we were going or what we were doing, but I do remember that song Fly by Sugar Ray playing over the radio. And I remember being very, very happy. Not the quiet, contented sort of happy I was in my first perfect moment, but the sort of bursting-at-the-seams happy. The OMG-this-is-crazy sort of happy.


     Since then, there've been more perfect moments. Sitting with my cousin Lance Tankman (ha! not his real name) at the anniversary party none of my friends were at, my and Mich's inside joke at the Subway by the beach, climbing the rocks. And so many before that, too many to think of that happened before. I should really try to write them down sometime, keep a record of little moments like that. Moments that make the rest of life and all the crap I go through sometimes, worth getting through.



saml said:

HI, I'm so computer illiterate. But I finally figured out how to leave comments...yay... now I have to work on the whole profile picture thing... the perfect moments...they're pretty huh? I think a lot of moments can be just as pretty if we let them... I don't know what it is exactly that you're feeling but you should reward yourself for handling it better then me. I really want to stress that all these addictions are sought out because of internal bullshit we all go through. I think all humans could relate to each other if we weren't so busy competing. When I realized that- it helped me. I also read a lot about psychology and philosophy... that helps too. I don't know... keep writing.

November 23, 2007 9:38 PM

zulayr said:

I agree, it's good to remember all the little good things that happen to us, indeed.

this is nice:)

November 24, 2007 10:20 AM

jasmines said:

I love bursting-at-the-seams happy!  Lately I've been feeling that kind of happy, but it's quite annoying because it always strikes at a very impractical time, like when I'm sitting in my kitchen eating ice cream, reading a book.  And NO ONE is around.  So it's very anticlimatic.  I should work on that one.  

November 26, 2007 8:18 PM


Oct. 15 [going to work soon] [two school essays due; majorly nervous about both] [remember when i wrote that short story where the girl said "majorly" every other WORD practically? ha]