Your Smile On Fire

...from the song Xavia

hey, who wants a redo!?

     Jordyn is rather tired. And yeah, she likes to talk about herself in the third person. But because she's so tired and doesn't feel good and this post probably won't make much (or any) sense as it is, she's going to stick to first person.


     I always thought it was stupid to regret things that we have or haven't done in the past. Time travel not exactly being HERE YET, it seems fairly stupid to cringe over saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing. Over messing your words up or saying something you didn't quite mean.

     But come on, we still do it, right? Go over it again and again in our minds, wishing we could go back and say something that would have sounded better? Or even more, wishing we could go back and say what it was we wanted to say (but didn't have enough guts to) in the first place?

     We think to ourselves, Oh, they probably don't remember. Nobody actually remembers what I say anyways... right? Right? RIGHT? But we can't ever convince ourselves enough to really buy into it. Because there's always that little voice in the back of our mind, the one that shouldn't be SO MUCH LOUDER than the one urging us to forget about it, but still manages to completely drown it out.


     And can we all agree that a lot of the things we want to get a "redo" on (remember how when you're a little kid you get redos on everything? Like if you don't roll the dice good enough or pull the right card in Candy Land... you always call a redo.) don't really matter. At all.

     But then there's the other stuff. Stuff that maybe does matter, that there's a chance another person does remember. And you wish you could go back and call a redo, like when you were a kid, and be all, No, no! That wasn't what I meant to say at all! And fix it on the spot.


     Yeah. Those are the times when time machines? They'd come in real handy. (And REAL time machines, not the pretend kind I used to "build" in Horizons.)


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Oct. 15 [going to work soon] [two school essays due; majorly nervous about both] [remember when i wrote that short story where the girl said "majorly" every other WORD practically? ha]