Your Smile On Fire

...from the song Xavia

on not forgetting

Firstly, you should all clap for me because I studied THREE SOLID HOURS for my Psychology test tomorrow. So I better do good, or else Jordyn (who does occasionally refer to herself in the third person) will be way upset with herself.

     In other news, I found another quote. This one from Sara Zarr's Story of a Girl which I just finished. And it goes like this...


Forgetting isn't enough.

You can paddle away from the memories and think they are gone.

But they will keep floating back, again and again and again.


And isn't' that true? Sometimes a memory I think I've forgotten will come back to me. In a dream maybe, or while I'm taking notes in class, or when some undefinable thing triggors it. And depending on the memory, it changes me in some small way. It changed my mood or my outlook or my window of reference on things. It makes me better or worse, happier or sadder.

     I guess we don't ever really forget things. We just think we do or we try to or we push the memories back and convince ourselves they're gone. And the thing is... a lot of these memories aren't bad memories, they're good ones. But sometimes that's the thing - good memories have the power, messed up as it sounds, to taint the present, to make you (or at least Jordyn) long for that memory, for the time it took place in.


I went up to the Bay Area for one of the readings - the one in Oakland at the Great Good Place for Books (AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO'S READ THE GREAT GOOD THING!?) (oh hi Jake, if you're reading this, I swear I'm going to email you soon). So anyways, I, me, Jordyn T., went up to Northern California.

     And it was different.

     It was good.

     Besides the fear I have of a major earthquake happening when I cross one of the bridges, I really loved it.


And though there is much more to this post that I've written beyond this point, I'll end here and send Mich the rest.


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Oct. 15 [going to work soon] [two school essays due; majorly nervous about both] [remember when i wrote that short story where the girl said "majorly" every other WORD practically? ha]