Okay, new segment. Because I’m watching The Colbert Report (it inspired me) and also I know you’re all so interested in my life.
So, friendlies, welcome to the new segment called THIS IS THE JORDYN REPORT! (And yes, you can pronounce the T in that word report.)
For starters, this is one of the conversations I had with Taylor the Lovely today. I picked her up (in my car) while she was walking home from the bus stop, and we passed a kid who was walking up the hill I had “saved” Taylor from having to walk up.
Taylor: That used to be me.
me:…you used to be a little boy with blonde hair?
Secondly, all those trailers for the Get Smart movie are getting me very excited for this movie. Now I realize it probably won’t be as wonderful as the show was, but hey, (a) Steve Carell is in it, (b) so is Ann Hathaway, (c) and the character of Seigfried (”This is kaos! Ve don’t shush here!”), (d) um, hello, it’s Get Smart.
Thirdly, this morning when I woke up (and I must have not been sleeping very well because I woke up when Taylor came and turned my bathroom light on to steal something, and normally I’m a very heavy sleeper) I felt like someone had spent the night hitting my head with a hammer. Really, it was not pleasant and I still don’t feel very well and ugh. Just thought you all should know this.
Fourthly, I had the strangest visual a few days ago. Here’s what happened: Taylor and my mommy went to H&M. I did not go. It sounded like something that would involve lots of shopping (with my mom and sister) and looking at clothes (with my mom and sister) and being asked by to try things on (by my mom and sister), so I elected to stay home. And anyways, they got home and Taylor was very excited to show me what new clothes she got at H&M and Forever 21. So I looked at them, and she said something like this about H&M: “There were all these people running around - it was crazy.”
And, I swear to you, I got a visual. Of FASHION ZOMBIES running back and forth in H&M, waving their hands in the air like people do when they’re riding a rollercoaster, and screaming (also much like they do when on a rollercoaster). It was frikkin hilarious. I think I was kind of doubled over laughing while Taylor the Lovely kept saying, “What’s funny, why are you laughing? Jordyn, stop laughing at me! Are you laughing at me? What’s so funny?”
The fashion zombies, friendlies. That was what was so funny. And I don’t know, maybe there will be more on these fashion zombies that apparently live in my mind.