Your Smile On Fire

...from the song Xavia

weird microwavey thing

 Okay, so Amy asked me to cross-post my blog posts that I do because I haven't been writing them here lately.

So.

Last night. Last post.

We all have our weird things, right?

Like some people don’t like garbage bags and some can’t stand wooden spoons.

Me?

Well, okay, so. You know how when you put something in the microwave it gets hot? Then when it’s done being fried with radiation or whatever it is that happens, the microwave BEEPS?

Yes. Well.

I CANNOT STAND IT.

Sometimes I stand by the microwave, waiting for whatever’s in it to be done so I can open the door BEFORE IT BEEPS. If someone else in the house uses the microwave I yell at them as soon as it beeps to TAKE IT OUT TAKE IT OUT MAKE IT STOP!!!

You see, I have Beeping Microwave Sonar.

The microwave is downstairs in the kitchen and my room is upstairs, on the opposite side of the house, yet I can always hear the microwave when it beeps. Kitchen, living room, bedroom - wherever I am. I hear it. And something inside me gets incredibly annoyed and I feel like if it doesn’t stop I might break out in hives.

I’ve never actually had hives. But I imagine they feel like how hearing the microwave beep sounds. IE. they make you want to explode in pain and/or frustration. If the beeping doesn’t STOP, and QUICKLY, I start to go swiftly insane.

I do things like yell at whoever is closer to the microwave than me/whoever is using the microwave/whoever is around. And block my ears/go “lalalalalala” to block out the noise. And grit my teeth in anger.

So yeah. I’m weird about the microwave beeping.

But that’s not the only microwave-related thing that turns me into a nervous wreck.

The other thing is when people stop the microwave before it’s done going and then they don’t hit the clear button and the time left is still there instead of, um, the actual time.

This makes me a nutter.

I freak out for a moment, saying things like, “AM I THE ONLY ONE THIS DRIVES CRAZY???” (apparently I am). I hurry over and hit the clear button, then I FIND whoever used the microwave last and give them a stern talking-to.

They tell me I have problems.

Maybe they’re right. I have microwave-related problems.

BUT ALL PROBLEMS COULD BE AVOIDED IF PEOPLE JUST STOPPED THE INCESSANT BEEPING AND CLEARED THE SCREEN PLEASE.

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Oct. 15 [going to work soon] [two school essays due; majorly nervous about both] [remember when i wrote that short story where the girl said "majorly" every other WORD practically? ha]