Now that I am a critically acclaimed award winning author- I’ve decided to try my hand at poetry. It’s something I have attempted in the past with some half decent results but I could never resist temptation to rhyme. Rhyming is so pretty, you know? But I did more or less avoid it this time and I think these two are pretty kick-ass if I do say so myself. I am warning you though- they’re pretty deep and intense. I tend to be really analytical especially when it comes to the psychological structure of man - a learned habit from all the therapy- I guess. (Wow, that makes me sound hardcore f’d up) Anywho, these poems are inspired by the nature of thought, by my own cosmic conclusions, and by a person… a person I feel the need to address. So, if your pretty sure that these poems (The latter more so, than the first) have nothing to do with you, you can skip the rest of the preface if you want. And yes I am self-centered enough to believe you will one-day read this and I’m pretty sure when you do, which is right now, (G-d I love that whole concept) you’ll recognize who I’m speaking to…
It’s funny because I was going to pretend that I wasn’t actually trying to talk to you through this semi- anonymous social network that is the World Wide Web. But then I thought to myself- why pretend? It doesn’t matter- what am I risking? If you read it, you read it, if you don’t, you don’t and I will never know. Sure it’s a little creepy to try and get your attention this way but it’s not like I’m really trying… I promise, I get it, we’re not friends…blah, blah, blah… move on Sam…If you do read this though, I don’t want to leave you any room to misinterpret. I don’t trust your interpretations about human intention because you resent us (and by us, I mean man-kind) for being selfish animals. How do live with yourself if you loathe yourself? I’m sorry… none of my business… back to me… So I just want you to know that the latter poem is about you or at the very least, people like you. But it’s not for you- it’s for me. I don’t want you to think that I’m a weird, creepy, stalker of a person who is trying to win your heart through poetry over the internet (as if poetry didn’t already scream over-obsessed). It’s just writing is very therapeutic for me and it is how I dealt and continue to deal with overcoming the sadness that this situation brought me. I’m only sharing it with the world because A. It doesn’t feel like the world, as far as I’m concerned it’s just me and my shitty laptop. And B. I think these poems are pretty kick-ass. But I’m not going to pretend that I don’t miss you sometimes. It would be dishonest of me if I continued to let myself sound so detached. Rationally, I know that it is best for me to stay away from you. You are committed to unlocking the external truths of this world and I, to unlocking the internal ones. (Vague, I know- but I think you get it) Still, I liked your company and rational or not- this situation kinda sucks for me.
On that note:
The Nature of Self-Deception
To the one who believes
He or she bares the burden of the truth
Amidst an age of intellectual anarchyTo the one who believes
That he or she
Is above the meaningless repressions of society
When In actuality
You are as wrong as you are sure
For there are many vacillating truths
To believe in only one;
To discredit the others
Is in itself, the act of repression
The very opposite of your prized truth…
- Samantha L ( I’m not allowed to disclose my full name)
The Paradox of External Truth
Half believing
You are striving toward
Slowing man kinds’ inevitable extinction
You are in fact consuming yourself
With escaping your own
You have selfish motives
You are only human
And only humans have repressions that drive them
To a state of inescapable sorrow…
You may say
Only a feeling
But trust me- it is a crippling one
A physically crippling one
I am but one casualty in your internal battle;
One I take comfort in believing you will someday mourn
But there will be others like me
Better and worse
Rectify yourself Señor
Don’t be afraid to loose your purpose
In the absence of rigid philosophy
Don’t be scared to digress into the feudalisms of man
You will always be purpose driven
And you will always thirst for knowledge
These qualities are your belongings
So you must test their resilience
Do not shelter them
And do not over-nurture
Ask yourself what it is you yearn for
You’ve come too far
You’re far too young
Slow Self Deception
Do not succumb
Do Not Succumb
- Samantha L