G-d, my new and friendless life here in the burbs is soooooooo boaring. It seems that all I’ve managed to do for entertainment is wreak havoc and cause drama in the lives of others with my tactless banter. How I’ve managed to push buttons and lose additional respect (I really thought that impossible) all from the comforts of my new living room half way across the country- I cannot say for certain. But I guess it displays some talent, no? I’m sorry; I know it’s not funny to cause mayhem. But my mind is just boggled that I would inadvertently have any serious effect when I’m hardly in a position of power. My life right now, is nothing short of drab.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s absolutely beautiful here. My house in the hills is charming and tranquil. My view of a Buddhist monastery shrouded in nature is definitely a pleasant shade of Zen. And the sky, Jesus Christ, I can’t remember the last time I could look up and see stars so distant they reveal the heavens in its natural dome. I love being with family. I love being with my dog. But I miss the people who love and support me and do not biologically or absent mindedly have to. Thank G-d for souls so kind and patient.
I suppose I’ll take this opportunity to present my description of friendship at it has crossed my mind recently in evaluating my relationships at school. The truth is; you would be hard-pressed to find a favor that I would not do to lift a true friend’s spirits. With the exception, of course, of an act that violated my morals and/or one that would clearly have to be done at my own expense. I have needs too and as I mentioned before I have only my discretion to evaluate which are of more importance. Clearly I will have some bias, you can only guess in whose favor. But seeing as how I am not working on a cure for aids and that I am a fairly sensitive individual, I tend to be very generous with my time and endurance.
And as my friend, I want nothing from you. I want no favor or explanation that you do not feel inclined to give out of love or loyalty to me. I want only to have a fair and trusting relationship with a fair and trustworthy person. I expect that you would want the same. So I will apologize and try to be of some assistance when I am not living up to your standards. But of course I must be assured that it is of some consequence when you are not living up to mine. I know in my confrontational manner I tend to make people uncomfortable so I do have patience for defensive reactions. Humor, anger, and even temporary meanness are all understandable in my mind. But disregard and sincere condescension are entirely different. Perhaps I have not been around enough tenacious self-important ass-holes to clearly differentiate; well, it seems I am in the right school for practice.
*Quap-chhh* (simulated whip sound) Take that!!!