I will totally right a legit post 2morrow

Been busy with school, I'm a little ill but still; nothing but good news. My ***-list has completely reoriented itself yet I’m pretty darn chipper. My classes are great, I’m getting my work done, I have some really amazing friends… It’s cool. I still feel misunderstood but at this point I’m ok with that. I either A. deserve it or B. deserve better. It just feels like I’ve said everything I needed to say and heard everything I needed to hear. I tried really hard to stand up for myself, to take care of myself, without reaching into the cookie jar of spite. I almost got there. So close. O well, at least my malice is entertaining and well-decorated in prose poetry. I still maintain that I more often portrayed borderline humiliating honesty than I did unfair bitchery, but who am I to judge? Still whatever I contributed to the circumstances at this point seem to be working out in my favor. Because whether I am universally disliked, disregarded, or the like- I don’t really give a ***. I am content with the results from my pursuit of balanced self-sufficiency and philia. I will continue to try and stay open and honest but for now I am a resolved entity floating merrily along… la la la la la


P.S. I cried yesterday and it felt soooooooooo good. Crying is so under-rated. Why are tears so scary to people? They’re so pretty. I know that sounds really weird- but body language is such a perfect depiction of sincerity. Words twist and embellish what only natural expression can communicate with purity. Weakness; Human weakness. It felt so good when my body acknowledged my own emotional vulnerability and bio-chemically reacted. I didn’t feel guilty, or lost or ashamed… I agreed with my body that the tears were justified and accepted the hurt knowing that tomorrow I would feel better. I was right. Today everything’s A ok.



jordynt said:

Ahh! So glad you're doing ok!

As for me, I'm about to watch Ratatouille. Heehee.

January 22, 2008 10:26 PM