I hope I still have license to go on introspective tangents as if it hasn’t been a month since the last one.
I know I’ve been a negligent blogger lately but love me anyway. My latest thoughts have been channeled in my classes which are, FYI, going well. I’ve more or less, come out of the self-destructive coma that envelopes adolescence. I’ve been taking good care of myself, maintaining my beliefs, and not doubting the value of my perspective. I’ve realized that sharing my thoughts eloquently free of looming self-doubt is my meaning in this meaningless life. Because well founded arguments can only lead to better counter argument, insight into the nature of perspective, and/or confidence in the ingenuity of one’s reasoning. All of these elicit the orgasmic satiation of accumulating truth.
The argument of the month has been the prosecution and defense of my personal writing style. The result of my advocacy has allowed me to prove the competence of my rationale as well as provoked insightful criticism that will facilitate further progress. The exceptionally bright faculty and students at my school have helped me to realize this:
To be a good writer I have to trust myself. My voice does not emulate from my words when my diction is calculated. I write fluidly, I think methodically, and I much prefer the climax of spontaneity controlled retrospectively than the predictability of rhetoric formula. My talent lies in my honesty. My honesty lies intuitively. I will not sell myself short by ignoring my impulses and doubting the dexterity of my senses.
That being said, I know that I am not my only audience and that language barriers will forever separate society and the self. I know there are choices I will have to make, manipulations I must employ, and allusions I will have to clarify and solidify. But I trust my sense of rhythm and reason and it is that strength in individuality that I believe pushes me into the realm of greatness.
Until the true strife of self sufficiency I have a new youthful struggle before me. And that is the limbic challenge of severing childhood impressionability while resisting the comfortable misery of adult cynicism. We are all jaded by our world-view and that is why we need human interaction. Voicing one’s opinion while keeping an open mind will unravel the greatest pleasures of life.
They are [in my humble opinion] as follows in no particular order
1. Validation of intelligence
2. Thought provocation
3. Expression of self
4. Accumulation of insight
5. Interpersonal connectivity
I’ve been working on my writing a lot and I’m coming to comprehend the meaning of “Higher Education,” although I couldn’t define it in any way that doesn’t sound trite or vague. I guess I finally feel like my life is my own and I’m not taught to strive for any particular standard. Instead I’m taught how to exercise awareness, sensitivity, and slight skepticism all to sharpen the fluency of my ideas.
P.S. I have so much work to do this weekend but I also have so many updates: New relationships, old ones salvaged, new outlooks… No time. I have a couple of papers I wrote that I’ll post when I “Perfect” them. And one day I’ll get to editing my month-long streams of consciousness.