I’m getting all Emo again

I have the chills. What am I doing… numbing… Mental breakdown- Mental breakdown- Hips- cold.

I don’t why. I remember looking up at him.  

But the kaleidoscope of phallic images was not what I thought I wanted.

Dancing- jagged sharp steps counter-intuitively stylized- I will forever know to count the beat and ride the wave of intuition.

What was I to him- for him?

Definitions feel heavy and forced onto me

The listless whore-

moans thirsting for satiation like hunger pangs

For the moments that enslave the parasite of pursuit   

Cold to the touch

Warming only to the brush of chemical euphoria

Unloved by selfish beings that stomp clumsily over my selfish distress

 I Undress

Just to be groped wildly

Paws at my supple chest

What am I?

Decisions to be lost in the perfunctory music of automatica

Who indifferently swallows the color blue

Please G-d, be alive-

I don’t want to be alone anymore



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