“I’m not a rapper I’m an entity" and other random thoughts

-John Brown (white rapper show)  


Sometimes I find that limbo burns between fire and cotton smoke.  The texture soothes like plastic ocean shores or ripples in a waving flag.  If purgatory sits between than why is indifference hotter still? Eyes in an irrevocable dehydrated sting Inevitable upon approach  Yet there’s always time to sneak a squinted glimpse however it may burn  And there it is; not light nor smog but a moving liquid screen Whipping and smothering rapids in the air Why is it? and how can it be captured in description?  If she is nothing but an alteration to the atmosphere But a curious illusion with very little substance to speak of  


My family likes to spoil

Self sacrifice reigns

Seeing others smile- knowing it was our doing

It's How we feel alive, powerful, significant…   


Is it so much to ask that someone care- not just go through the motions and say what they’re supposed to say and supposed to want so their rewarded with what their supposed to get. Is it so much to ask not to be treated like a variable in an equation to be evaluated and perhaps used for the final product. Why must I prove myself worthy can’t I be loved simply because I am lovable. Why are people so hesitant to wing it as if they really had a choice?     


I think that the chemistry of emotional attachment is minuscule compared to the blown out Intellectual proportion. That when we think of how much we will miss any given object actually- we would deeply feel very little of its absence. When one values and explores their internal world- externalaties have but little impact. If we can accept that everything is transitory, ourselves included, and we can love at a distance aware of the inevitable goodbye. If we can stand strong and detach ourselves from the urge to cling and grope- we might realize that life is so much more enjoyable when we’re not afraid to lose it. I do understand the impulse to repel from uncertainty and the insecurity that risk provokes. But I do believe if we think there is another option we’re kidding ourselves and robbing ourselves of the natural experience-induced high.   



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