October 2008 - Posts

  • a change of mental pace

    So, I promised myself I would make a conscious effort to try and blog more because A. there's a bunch of thoughts and ideas and what not's buzzing in my head, and B. i'm tired of writing these thoughts and ideas and what not's on random pieces of paper and napkins and classwork notes. I've been more attuned to my more analytical senses lately, for some reason. I mean, I'm usually a pretty perceptive person and I tend to mentally elaborate more on things that probably shouldn't be given even the last 10 minutes of my day, but these past few months have put my mind on overdrive; it's an overdrive of what if''s and why not's and why do these thing's happen...'s (?) and it's coming at me from all sides; work, school, my social life, everything's just..out of whack, i don't know. It's like those moments when you really have to concentrate hard on something, or trying to remember one thing and you just keep getting sidetracked by everything around you. I can't quite pinpoint what this feeling is, but I know it sort of feels like when you surrender your control to adrenaline; driving a car at top speed without bothering to keep a conscious control of the steering wheel, or throwing yourself off the highest cliff into water, not knowing how you will land or what awaits in the waves but acknowleding the fall, conscious of the rush. I guess the reasons behind my unknown adrenaline will make thmselves known when the time is right. But will it be too late by then? My car can only speed so far without reaching a roadblock. I can take the fall, but how long will I be able to tread in the water? OK, I know this might not make sense at all and it's really actually very vague, but it's better than trying to sum it up along the margins of my math homework -__- Promise I'll be back with a bit more specifics and coherency.