She's No Saint..

But she'll take you to your knees.

December 2007 - Posts

  • Its impossible to figure out who I want to be,

    When my best friend wont let me. She usually rolls her eyes, or says, "Kali, come on." Like she knows better than I do that, Im not like that. Whateverr. Im just irritated about it right now. Ill write more tomorrow probably, or something.. Merry Late Christmas BTW.

  • On this faithful Christmas Eve, I am alone.

    Well, Happy Christmas Eve everybody. Whoo! Im home alone, which is kind of a good thing because, well, theres alot to do. We're having sort of a Christmas party tonight and I have to kinda clean, and cook, and prepare, and all that junk. Its not too bad though. One of my moms friends is coming over soon to have me sign one of the books she got her niece for Christmas. I suppose I dont mind doing it. I just feel strange doing it. Like, Im not important enough to sign a book, what are you talking about? Ho hum. I guess thats all. These dont HAVE to be long and drawn out! :D

  • Live and in person! The definition of cynical.

    Heyy guys. So lets go back a couple weeks. Me and my friend Candice were talking about living to be 100. And Im like, "I dont even want to live to be 70. Im only, what, 16 and I already hate the world. Do you really think I want to live to be 100?" Its sad really. Example number 2. This morning, while checking my email, I came across a scholarship opportunity. It said "SUM UP AMERICA." I guess what your supposed to do is compile a bunch of pictures into a math equation summing up America. So I went to the website and it had a bunch that people have already done and most of them had stuff like patriotism, pride, freedom, integrity etc etc. And Im like, "Ok.." Because the first thing that came to my mind when doing this was a) poverty. b)greed. c)freedom? That kinda stuff. And its like. Man. Im horrible. Because, I mean, yeah. I love America. FREEDOM! Braveheart. Yeah. Id rather be here than anywhere else. But at the same time its like, we kinda suck. Please dont put me in the brig! I promise! Theres no treason going on here! Its just another example of how pitifully cynical and... negative I am. About EVERYTHING. And I pretty much blame people. The human race is responsible. Not me. Uh huh. Just the world. (Sarcasm?) But if anyone has read my essay, Im sure they can get a glimpse of why I think like this. Because, to be honest, people suck. I have to tell my friend Bekah that all the time. Someone who is her friend is being moody and yells at her. Cue Bekah: "I thought she was my friendd." *Sad face* Cue Me: "Bekah, people suck. Thats it. Welcome to the world." I guess eventually everyone realizes this. I dont know if its a blessing or a curse that I have figured it out at the ripe old age of 15. Ho hum. I kinda hate blaming people for this. Because, its not really anybodys fault. Its just the way things turn out. Its human nature to be retarded. :] Of course I forgive people because Im retarded as well. See? Now I got myself on this HUGE rant and now I look like a terrorist, an anti-social high school girl, and an angry old lady with a lot of cats. Oh, and Im very stereotypical as well. *sigh* But honestly? Im not mean. Im not a bad person. I just get miffed at certain points in the day, complain to my friends about it, and then its over until the next annoying thing happens. Ok,ok. I have considered it and now I know what has fueled this rant. A combination of: Caffeine, tiredness, The Used, and Ohio is for Lovers. :\  Now that THATS figured out.
    Hmmm. I really hope that whoever you are, you have given up on me. Id hate to waste your time anymore.. :o Well, if only for today. We'll see if Im more coherent next time.

  • On novels and 'Habitual disciplinary problem children'.

    Herm. So apparently a great few of you guys have actually written novels..? Thats fabulous. I mean, it really is. To me that would be a HUGE accomplishment. Because personally, I cant write something LONG enough. And stay on track with it. Ill eventually get bored and quit, or finish it by killing somebody.  :] Its a little habit of mine. Anyway, maybe I just need to learn how to write differently? Or maybe just stick with my lovely little short stories and compile a collection of them, as my mom has suggested. I guess it all just really depends on how much I grow with my writing and such. Which reminds me that I will probably take the Creative Writing class at my school next year. AGAIN. But apparently it has changed a great deal since the expiremental first year it was offered last year. Either way, Im hoping it will help me get back on track with my writing. Because to be honest, that was the only time I really stuck to a piece of writing and it was the most Ive ever written. Not to mention I LOVE the teacher. That was also the time that I had the most inspirational moments. You know what Im talking about. Your just laying there trying to sleep and you think of something.. Yes.

    Onward then! Well, a couple months ago, my friend hit a girl. Just an innocent slap on the face but she got APEP for it. (In school suspension) So this last Wednesday, she got in another fight. Id first like to start with a warning, mostly to my mom, if shes reading this. (Hi mom) Theres cussing involved but its the story so yeah. My friend (Lets call her Amanda. Because, yeah thats her name) was in Creative Writing (The famously loved class! Yay!) and someone threw a pencil at my other friend (Shanleigh) and it hit her in the face. So Amanda says "The next person who throws a pencil gets it shoved up their ass." (Once again mom, its the storyy.) so this other girl across the room, (Meghan) whom I presume to be the one who threw it in the first place said "Shut up you fat ***." Which really, really offended Amanda, because she IS gay. So Amanda, being the peaceful person she is, goes over and says "What did you call me?" "You heard me." Little freshman says back. "Fat ***" So Amanda is seriously miffed now so she says "Id rather be a fat *** than a slutty straight ***." So Meghan's boyfriend gets up and says "Alright thats enough. Go sit down hippo." Can you believe it? So of course, this is the final straw. So Amanda reaches behind him and hits Meghan in the face. Meghan hits her back. Amanda hits her and Meghan fall over. They get written up and then bam. There they are in APEP. So now Amanda misses our Christmas choir concert, has APEP until break, and has a track record as a "Habitual Disciplinary Problem." Its depressing yet funny at the same time.

    Hah. Thats the most Ive ever written really. Nicee. One more thing before I get back to my fabulous inspiration. Last night, Amanda came out to her little brother. Like, she was really worried about what he would think of it, but it turns out that he doesn't believe her. Psh. He'll come around though.

  • 'Mourning the death of civility.'

    Thats what my friend said about It snowed today, and I was in black. ALL black. I didnt even really plan that... It just kinda turned out that way. So I said I was mourning something, I just dont know what. And she said civility. And it fits. In other news..

     Me and my mom got back from LA on Tuesday. Hecka long drive back too. We had to stop and sleep in a hotel for the night and leave again in the morning. But the hotel was better than the one we had in LA so I suppose it wasnt too horrible. Then we went to Denny's for breakfast. We didnt eat very well when we were in the city. [Totally unrelated but in Spanish, Airport of Los Angeles means Airport of the Angels. Thats totally cool and meaningful to me.] The party itself was GREAT. I was the first to get there in my shiny, white, huge, gas hog, rental car. We actually drove right by Amy looking for somewhere to park. (We didnt know that there was vallet parking.) The house was so BIG and really pretty. I talked to Amy for a bit and then Deborah came. Followed by Erika, Jessica, Jordyn, Elizabeth, and Dani. Maybe thats right? I dunno. But we had to sign our autographs a billion times. Not to mention that Aiden was there. The cross dressing kid in The Riches? Oh yeah. None of us had any idea who he was until he told us. And did anyone else have a talk with Paul Feig? I heard there was other important people there too but I had no clue. Then we preceded to sitting around, waving the waiter guy away. He kept coming over and asking if we wanted food. Hah. "Come back after we read, eh?" After that we finally got to read. Everyone did GREAT. I totally screwed up on a few words. And then a helicopter went by in the middle.. Ah well. So I pretty much did this out of boredom, because Im antsy and because my mom told me I should. So here it is. Thanks to everyone who was there! And especially Sue Cross and Mike Steere for letting us use their house for our party. :]

    G'Day all.