Maybe I'm a little too obsessive.

December 2007 - Posts

  • Randomosity.

    • Moment Remembrance: sitting in Sbarro in NYC, eating foodies and chatting with Saskia and listening to the music overhead when all of a sudden "Radios in Heaven" comes on — song of the summer having been "Hey There Delilah" and my not really wanting to listen to it because there are other songs of the Plain White Ts' that I like more — but then hearing that favorite of mine in a restaurant in New York City of all places — it threw me. It was... nice. A welcome sound. One I hadn't heard for, gosh, years?

    • New word: pimpressed. From AIM conversation typo. But not my word. No, I don't make cool typos. I just steal them. Pimpressive, non?

    • Story: my dad told me (who knows if he was lying or not — I tend to hold stories like these with a healthy shot of skepticism) that when he was in high school, his civics class took a field trip of some sort to see part of a trial. It was a murder trial, and the name of the defendant? Ronald McDonald. Well, yesterday, I saw on YouTube one of the first McDonald's TV commercials featuring Ronald McDonald. All I could think was, "He's a killer... he's a killer... HE'S SO CREEPY... he's a killer!"

    • Question: what're everyone's plans for New Year's Eve? Mine: most likely sitting around, watching Buffy, reading, waiting for the ball to drop. Just me and my dad and my mom, as apparently my sister has a party to go to. Now, for all I know, some of my friends may want to get together... but hmm. I kind of doubt it, as no one's said anything up to now, except for Saskia. (Wow, this makes me sound very lame. Ahaha. Well, I kind of am pretty lame. So that's okay.)

    Gossip Girl Tidbits: Apparently Leighton Meester is blonde?! She looks so different and, and weird! Also, another apparently in that apparently Penn Badgley and Blake Lively are dating in real life?! I guess I can let that slide. I mean, Penn should really be dating me, ahem, but Blake Lively is cool, too. So it's all right, for now at least. ;)
  • Maybe they were right: the holidays can get kind of gloomy. Oops.

    Ack ack! I don't seem to be posting as often as I used to! I guess it's because I haven't had that much to say. Winter break spent holed up in my room? Yeah. Not a lot going on in my life right now.

    Christmas was a lovely time. I got a good batch of loot, watched some movies with my mom and sister, watched more Buffy and Angel, had dinner with my family (we're nontraditional! we eat Moroccan food!), watched more Buffy and Angel... and then became overwhelmed with this odd feeling. A sobby feeling, of sorts. Perhaps dread, lunacy. It was odd. This random write up from that night sums it up:
    Chungyen: what do you want for christmas?
    Amy: oh man
    Amy: no more school. ever. just freedom to do what i want without that fear of becoming nothing.
    Amy: i'm in a weird mood haha
    Chungyen: aww
    Chungyen: i want that tooo
    Chungyen: weird mood?
    Amy: endless hours of just watching buffy has given me an odd perspective
    Amy: i'm tired of school eating up my life, you know?
    Chungyen: haha
    Chungyen: yeah
    Chungyen: me too!
    Amy: i don't want to necessarily waste so much time watching buffy, but i want to be able to watch it throughout the school year. i want more time, i guess.
    Chungyen: yeah
    Chungyen: i understand
    Chungyen: when we have school
    Chungyen: i feel like each day just disappears so fast

    Does anybody else feel this need to just walk away? Not give up, no, but simply... walk. Away, around, to, from, whatever. Just walk from, from school and people and responsibility and, and life? But at the same time, walk away and towards life?

    I guess I'm just tired. Tired of having my time taken from me. Tired of not having the time to sit and think, or read, or write, or breathe — really sit and think and read and write and breathe. (My english teacher says that the number one thing to remember to do during AP writing prompts is to breathe. Funny how we have to be reminded of that.)

    I'm craving the opportunity to run away and pretend that life is freedom for a while. Freedom to simply live. Simply breathe.

    Is anybody else as tired as I am?

    It was weird. I'm not usually so glum on Christmas. Maybe I just needed some serious sleep or something.

    But it doesn't help that this year, I just wasn't feeling the holiday spirit. I was incredibly tired of the lights, the music, the decorations. Sure, gifts are fun, but I don't really need all of the gifts that I received. Perhaps if I was more of a giving person, it would be more enjoyable — ack, I'm not saying that I don't like to give, but rather... I'm not that good at it. It is incredibly hard for me to buy or make gifts for people because I'm not good at reading them. I'm not a good judge of what someone might or might not like, need, want. So the whole giving-spirit? Lost on me. Totally. Christmas just isn't as happy for me as it used to be. Sad.

    But enough sadness! Guess what? I actually allowed myself to leave the house and hang out with friends a few days ago! Yup, Saskia, Chungyen, Vincent, Brian and I all met up at a pizza place downtown and talked way too much about college, about summer plans (we can't seem to agree on how to go about doing the Quintessential American Road Trip). We walked over to Sqecial, a quirky store that I really can't describe — it's just amazing, okay? — and then CD Central, where almost all of us bought posters (James Dean, yay!). It was nice, getting out of the house and hanging out with real people (I'm implying that my family is made of robots). Refreshing, getting out and laughing and smiling. Oh fun.

    I should be off now. Instead of watching Buffy and Angel first thing this morning, maybe I'll read. Work on revisions for my novel. Read some more. Love Buffy, love Angel... but man. I need to give myself a break. Sheesh. (Where am I now? Fourth discs of the fifth season of Buffy and second season of Angel. My gosh.)
  • Zulay did this to me. Blame her.

    Okay, I stole this entry's title from Zulay. I'm a thief.

    But she reminded me of something that happened yesterday.

    So I've been watching a lot of Buffy, right? Yes. Well, it's the episode Lover's Walk, and Spike is spewing his speech to Buffy and Angel about how they'll never just be friends and how "he may be love's ***," blah blah blah.

    The moment Spike started speaking, I went nuts. Squealy, squirmy crazy. Actually shouting, "Oh my god, oh my god!"

    In eighth grade, when my friend Hannah and I used to obsess over Buffy, we'd memorize speeches like that — usually Spike speeches, too — and we had that one down. Listening to it... god. I used to have that memorized! And it kills me, too, because middle school was just... amazing. Weird. Crazy. Bad. Good. I don't know. It was only middle school, someday it'll be hardly even a blip on my radar. But now, I still look back and wonder... what happened? Is that what turned me into the self-conscious "run for my life" girl I was upon entering high school? Wait wait, that's not even what I wanted to get at. No, I... I was simply going to mention that... it's funny how friendships kind of ooze away. Hannah and I — we obsessed over Buffy, loved it, talked about it every day — talked with each other every day. We used to be crazy good friends (not just because of Buffy, but it certainly helped in keeping our friendship afloat).

    And now, now — she sat in front of me in our Psychology class this past six weeks. Whenever I'd make a remark to her or her friend Alex, or if Alex or Ming would turn around and say something to me, Hannah wouldn't even look at me, let alone say a word. No, she pretty much ignores me these days.

    Most of the time, I don't care. I'm used to it now. I've got other friends, anyway. But... moments like yesterday's, when I'm watching Buffy and a once-memorized passage comes up, it drives me a little crazy with nostalgia. Lover's Walk, Amends, Beneath You. Other episodes that I can't think of but that will surely come up during this crazy Buffyfest I've created for myself. It all gets a little hard sometimes. But then I start talking to Saskia or Vincent or Chungyen instead, and it's better again. Helps me to remember that I kept and made other friends. And anyway, I shouldn't dwell on those silly middle school moments. In fact, I should probably be going to sleep.
  • I got into college!

    Wittenberg University! They like me! They like me!

    It feels good to know that this whole college stuff actually works. Filling out some forms, talking to some college reps. And I actually got in!

    What a wonderful way start to my winter break: opening a fantabulous piece of mail.

    Posted Dec 19 2007, 04:20 PM by amyh with 2 comment(s)
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  • My heart, it aches.

    I've been lagging on my blogging lately, I know, I know.

    I really shouldn't be writing this right now. No, I have a chemistry final and a calculus final tomorrow. My only two real finals this semester, and both on the same day. At first, I liked this — no school Wednesday for me, then! — but now I'm thinking that it totally sucks. And let's just say that I'm not so great at Chem and Calc. Sigh. But I guess I'll write this up, whatever might be on my mind, before tearing myself away from the internet and studying.

    I don't particularly want to study tonight. No, I'd much rather watch Buffy. Reason I didn't blog this past weekend: was watching Buffy. Well, Saskia stayed over Friday night (we made reindeer mix! Pictures in next post, though, promise!): we watched Love Story and some Tru Calling (I'm thinking that I'll finish watching the first season myself and just lend it to her — this whole sleepover thing doesn't work for me anymore — I like falling asleep early, er) and generally had fun just hanging out. And then on Saturday, I proceeded to watch seven episodes of Buffy. Sunday? Twelve episodes.

    I love Buffy. So freaking much. In middle school, eighth grade in particular, two of my friends and I would talk Buffy every day at lunch, even sing the songs, and could relate everything to Buffy. My obsession has calmed down considerably since then — it's even been years since I really sat down and watched a lot of Buffy. Well, back in October or something, I started this "Buffyfest" thing, in which I'd watch regularly over the course of a few months. Didn't really work out that way. But on Saturday, I finished off the first season and got started on the second. The second season is probably my favorite of all seven. Me? Sucker for Buffy/Angel. So heartbreaking, devastating. Watching Surprise and Innocence? Ohhh my god. My heart aches so much seeing Angel turn into Angelus. And as I come closer and closer to Becoming, Pt. 2, I get more and more anxious, because that episode gets me every. time. Oh my god. Just thinking about it... gah!

    Anyway. So since I managed nineteen episodes over the course of one weekend, I figure hey! I can totally knock out the rest of the seven seasons of Buffy plus the five seasons of Angel over the course of the next two weeks! (Yes, when it gets to be season four of Buffy, I plan to watch one episode BtVS, one episode Angel, and so on and so forth. God. That is going to get annoying. But it's how it must happen!)

    I need to get off and study study study! Don't want to. But need to. Le sigh.

    But today I got to hang out at Common Grounds with two of my friends. It was amazing. I love just sitting around, pretending to study, chatting chatting chatting.

    I'm so ready for this semester to end.
    Posted Dec 17 2007, 07:28 PM by amyh with 1 comment(s)
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  • Oh my god, oh my god you guys!

    Yes, that would be me cueing the Legally Blonde soundtrack. (I almost typed Legally Cloned. Wtf?)

    Why, you ask?

    I just finished the first draft of my novel.

    Holyyyy freaking crap.

    This is so amazing.

    I would elaborate, but I have a lab report to write up for Chemistry. Oh lordy.
  • And he shall purify.

    Tonight was the first out of two orchestra winter concerts. We're performing selections from Handel's Messiah with the chorus.

    You know how, during the Hallelujah chorus, the audience is supposed to stand? Tradition because of the King and such? Well, all of us orchestra folksies told our parents to stand — in keeping to said tradition — but we all really said it jokingly, assuming that our parents wouldn't actually stand.

    First two measures with the small ensemble start up and suddenly, we hear creaking and movement in the audience — parents are standing, WHAT! And when the rest of us come in with the ensemble, the whole audience is standing, too! I almost didn't enter on time because I thought it was so hilarious — and I almost stopped, it was so hard to keep from laughing.

    Oh man. So cool.

    (Not only that, but we played better than we thought we would! Sure, I screwed up in some parts, but I also rocked the house downnnnnn in others. Yessss.)

    Mm, but the one unfun thing is that it lasted a very long time. Ended around 9:50. Ick. Luckily, I don't have to stay the entire time tomorrow night.

    But gross! Homework time!
    Posted Dec 12 2007, 10:25 PM by amyh with no comments
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  • So. Freaking. TIRED.

    Man. I haven't blogged in a bit, now have I?

    We've had tests basically every day in English this week. Practice AP multiple choice on Monday, test on three memorized poems on Tuesday, practice AP writing prompt on Wednesday, and a check test on Invisible Man today. (A check test is the kind of test we have on whatever books we read for class. In involves writing about the significance five of six (or in today's case, seven) topics from the book, and then identifying five of six (or in today's case, all five) quotes. They suck, these tests, but I've gotten better at them. We surprisingly got all hour for it today, but I still managed to finish early. I don't understand how people can write for so long on tests! I usually just want to get it over with.)

    Anyway. Here is how that went, discussed in a chat between me and Saskia:

    Amy: so how was your day, dear saskia?
    Saskia: busy busy
    Saskia: took the test :(
    Saskia: went to mmsk and that's how i got the name of that one person
    Saskia: for us to contact
    Saskia: and you?
    Amy: EXCITING about that, by the way. what exactly is it again? :/
    Amy: mine was... eh
    Amy: i woke up two hours early this morning to finish IMAN
    Amy: i skimmed the epilogue right before the bell rang
    Amy: i think i did okay on the test
    Saskia: umm deville told me to contact someone about a local authors signing
    Amy: but then i had no book to read all day. gross!!
    Saskia: which woul dbe with some other local authors
    Saskia: hah
    Saskia: the other version of the test i would have rocked at but i failed the one i got because it was all stuff i wasn't as familiar with
    Amy: aw :(
    Amy: chitterlings or yams?
    Saskia: yams
    Amy: LUCKY
    Saskia: WHAT.
    Amy: i wanted to talk about yams, but i got chitterlings
    Saskia: NO.
    Saskia: hah
    Amy: yeah, i mentioned yams and then um connected the two
    Amy: haha
    Saskia: yeah that was the only a+ part of it :|
    Saskia: nice.
    Saskia: and by a+ i mean something i had a clue about
    Amy: reading that part in the book made me REALLY want yams
    Amy: omg
    Saskia: i totally blanked about who reinhart was
    Saskia: :|
    Saskia: i got him a little confused with bledsoe :|
    Amy: was that one of the choices?
    Saskia: no
    Saskia: but reinhartism was
    Saskia: which i realize now is the state of being invisble
    Amy: i didn't get the whole rinehart thing in the book.
    Amy: it went over my head.
    Saskia: but i got him confised with bledsoe's personality
    Amy: i didn't get how it went with invisibility
    Amy: the connect? not there.

    Yeah, last night I still had about 250 pages of the book to read. I read maybe 100, 150, and then fell asleep. This morning, I woke up at 4:30, read a little, slept a little, read a lot, and finally "finished" the book. (But to be honest, I probably would have blown off the epilogue even if I had finished it last week. Too preachy.) Good book, but I would have enjoyed it more had I not rushed it. I'm not usually this bad with my books for school — but usually, the books aren't so freaking long!

    But no matter. I'm just happy that now I can choose my next book to read! This should be delightful.

    Well, off to novelize and wait for Ugly Betty to come on! (By the way, Gossip Girl last night? INTENSE OMG.)

    OH! I didn't make callbacks for the musical — as I suspected — and I was contemplating not being in it, remembering my atrocious dancing abilities and all — but I think I'll do it. I mean, last chance, right? Right.
  • If I follow your heart....

    Today was... today. Interesting. The usual. Weird.

    I did something I never thought that I would do in a million years. Something I always thought would be fun, but to actually go through with it? Whoa.

    Yeah. I tried out for the musical.

    Which I've been saying I'd do. But I've said that stuff in the past, too. The past two years, actually. (I tried out for a play — not a musical, but just a play — Tartuffe — in sophomore year, and god what a tragedy that was. Stiff as a statue. Horrible!)

    Now, I'm not a great singer. I enjoy it, I guess, but I'm not exactly top-notch. That was the easy part, though. That was the part I knew I could get (even though this year they switched up the routine and instead of having us prepare our own song, they gave us one to sing! But just a snippet. And there was a high note that I couldn't really hit but I tried, so that counts for something, right?, and plus I've been sick, so — um. I'll stop and continue on now.) No, no, no, see, we had to dance. And this wasn't just tapping your feet and snapping your fingers a little. Uh, no, there were steps that had names — crazy! I learned today that I am definitely not a dancer. I have two left feet. Being left feet, they have the tendency to do everything backwards."Kick with your right!" "No, no, right feet, right!" And being left feet, they do a lot of tripping. So to put it simply, I did a lot of backwards tripping this afternoon. Yes, I think that if I ever intend to master this whole dancing thing, I'm going to have to take it slow. Very slow. Oh dear.

    But it was enjoyable. I think. Hm. Was it? Haha.

    I don't really expect a callback. I'll most likely get to be in the chorus (so they say), which will be a blast. Everybody involved in the musicals always seem so happy with their parts, even if they don't get one that they want. And, hello, this is my first time ever trying out for the musical! Getting to be a part of it at all is going to be amazing. Plus, it's my senior year! Time to do something I've been dreaming of for years!

    The most amazing part of this afternoon is that I definitely took something very important from all of this: that I have gotten past that little freshman who was afraid of all of her classmates, afraid of what they all thought, afraid to break out. Sure, my audition today was laced with self-consciousness and clumsiness and paranoid laughter, but the fact that I actually went through with it? It tells me that I'm growing up, I'm moving on, I'm working with what my life is offering me instead of pushing it all away. I'm trying my best to break out of my comfort zone. As frightening as it is to step out, the uncomfort zone brings me much more knowledge and strength than comfort can. It brings me towards a future — doesn't hold me back to a past. Gotta break out and let loose and show people that I'm ready to finally be me.

    (Plus, I totally made a friend today. It was nice. We bonded over dancing abilities. She played a great dead person.)

    Erik: You spoke to a large group without almost passing out?
    Erik: (Hope hope.)
    Amy: well, close.
    Amy: scarier, actually.
    Erik: Go on.
    Amy: i auditioned for the musical!!
    Erik: OOH!
    Erik: I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!
    Amy: yay!!
    Amy: :D
    Erik: Oh, wow! I'm just so shocked.
    Amy: haha
    Erik: :D!!!
    Erik: It's a happy kinda shock.
    Amy: yay!
  • Undergrounds + Book Rock + Wizard Rock + Musicals

    Last night was Undergrounds. It was... interesting to say the least.

    I think that they only do covers, which a lot of people that was crap, but I gotta tell you that JAMP was the best band there all night. Not just because of their music, but they were the most helpful band around. They let every other band use their sound system (including me and Michelle). How amazing is that?

    We had time issues, because a band that was supposed to come on, um, didn't. Not until about 30 minutes or so after they were set to go. And we had to pull the plug on the last band because it hit 9:15, when we knew we had to be out, and they got pretty pissed. But you know what? Next year, we're leaving some pretty simple advice that for some reason we didn't pay attention to: don't rebook bands that screwed things up for you.

    We made about 200-some dollars, which will be good for our magazine come May. We also made super-fast time in clean-up (within a half an hour or so, I think). Still out by ten, which is when we were supposed to have clean-up finished by (or else we start to pay the janitors overtime — which we really can't afford to do). Putting all the tables back really doesn't take as long as it seems it might. Same with returning the platforms to the theatre.

    Michelle and I played only a few songs — we were first, and she ended up getting more nervous than myself, I think, realizing that all of these other bands are a lot more "professional" than we are. But you know what? We're playing a show at the library in February. I'd like to see them beat that. And at that show, people are going to be there to actually see us! It's going to be spectacular. Just you wait and see.

    By far, though, the funniest part of the night was simply standing above the crowd and seeing them headbanging and trying to mosh. Oh man. The mosh pit? Five kids pushing each other around. So freaking hilarious.

    It's amazing because the whole night, I was so stressed out over what was going wrong — but it was still fun. I still enjoyed it. It's my last year. That's what matters.

    So even though I like to think of myself as the Wizard Rock Obsessor, I admittedly have not branched out that much past the first few huge bands. There are just so many. But that's why I get these compilation albums, like Jingle Spells. Because I can discover tons of bands.

    And man oh man. How did I not know about Ministry of Magic? These guys are astounding. I've never heard a wizard rock band quite like them. Oh man. So fantastic.

    I need to get back into listening to a lot of wizard rock. I may not be able to purchase every CD, but that's not a big deal. It's about fun, not consumerism. And that's what I love so much about it.

    Oh man. Urinetown auditions are Monday and Tuesday. I need to decide on a song to sing. And I need to fill out the forms. Ack ack ack.

    Undergrounds did kind of help me with something else, though. Singing our silly songs up in front of a bunch of people who didn't really care much about us? I didn't care. It was fun, and I loved it, and I want to do it more and more and more. This. Feels. Good.

    P.S. I need this shirt. Oh my god. How amazing is it?!