amylicious!

What's up in Amy's life lately? (Obviously not making interesting posts. But bear with me. Life is not very interesting right now.)

So let's see... last post was last Thursday? Ah yes, the voice post! I love voice posts. Hmm. But since then? I guess I'll just outline my past week for you, since nothing incredibly significant is sticking out in my mind.

• Lit Mag is having ups and downs right now, but after chatting with Mr. Reynolds I fixed up some problems with him. Apparently a few other people (who will remain unnamed, but they most likely know who they are, sigh) think that he's still all dictator-like and such, but honestly. It's not about having a fantastic sponsor, it's about putting out a fantastic magazine! But anyway, they think we need to switch back to our old sponsor. I think this is the last thing we need. I love Ms. McGrew, really, but we can't keep switching back and forth, or else nothing will get done. Plus, they don't know anything that went down in the chat that I had with Mr. Reynolds because they weren't there. And oh, they were definitely invited along, but when it came to confronting him, they just stood back and were like, "Oh. Uh. I don't want to talk to him." Pfft. Okay then. I'll do all the work, thankssss.

(...but moving on.)

• I got into Juniata College last Friday! Very exciting! I now eagerly await the letter in which they tell me that they want me to come interview for a full-tuition scholarship. :B I want want wantttt that scholarship, oh man.

• Urinetown rehearsal didn't exist last weekend, which was niiiice. Because all that I wanted to do was sit around and watch more Yamapi goodness and read Crime and Punishment. (Only one of those I actually did, though. Um.) Yes, on Saturday, I finished watching Nobuta wo Produce (!!! so much love, so much love, so much) and then on Sunday I watched another drama of his — Sore wa, Totsuzen, Arashi no you ni (meaning It was sudden, like a storm) — and basically drooled a lot. Um. I kind of adore this guy. Oh Saskia, look what you've done to me!

• I finished Crime and Punishment last night! Yeah! Sure, a little late, but well worth it. Good book, though the ending did kind of disappoint me. Something about it was too, hmm. Happy? Sort of. Um. I don't really know how to say it. But good book, nonetheless. Even better, though, is the fact that I can read whatever I want now! Yay!

• English presentation this morning! Actually, the day started off as total crap. I woke up, touched my glasses, and they broke. What the crap! A very angry morning. But I got to school, talked to some friends, and cheered up. Apparently, my taping job was so fabuloso that barely anyone even noticed the brokenness of my glasses. (Gift wrap tape works splendidly, actually.)

• This afternoon, when my dad picked me up at school and started driving us over to Simpson Optical so that we could order my new frames, he told me that Honey Bean is getting kicked out! Something about an evil landlord or something. Oh man. I love Honey Bean! This local coffee shop that is actually close by! So sad. So after putting in the order for frames, we walked over and got yummy coffee products. They're leaving tomorrow. :(

• I seem lately to be spending a significant amount of time talking to myself and daydreaming for long periods of time. Honestly, last Thursday or Friday I lay down on my bed and stared at the wall, meaning to drift off for a few minutes, but ended up staring at the wall daydreaming for a full hour. Great waste of my life, right? Something about life lately just has me feeling so idealistic and whimsical and, well, preoccupied, I guess. (Now you all officially think I'm supercrazy, I'm sure. But don't tell me you don't sometimes go off into bouts of chattering with yourself, creating certain situations and ideal circumstances. It's fun for a smile, really! But I guess I should attempt to tone it down. I mean, seriously. Staring at a wall for an hour?!)

• This week, Professor Steve Steve should be arriving in the mail! Who is Professor Steve Steve, you ask?



He is an amazing panda, the mascot of The Panda's Thumb, a blog my dad contributes to. Last summer, we got to keep him for a month or so because we took him on a trip to the Creation Museum in Northern Kentucky. (Scary place, really. It's just nutty.) Sometime next month, a man is coming to the local UU church to talk about his visit to the Creation Museum. We figure he might enjoy meeting Professor Steve Steve, haha. And man oh man, am I excited about bringing him to school! As dorky as it sounds, when all of my friends left me for camps and such this past summer. Professor Steve Steve was my best buddy. Ahahaha. (And wow. As if the talking to myself didn't already make me supercrazy, add in befriending a panda puppet.)

• And lastly, as silly as it sounds, my adoration of Yamapi is keeping me so insanely cheery right now. Lots of stupid and annoying things have been going on as of late, and so this new lovely obsession is just what I need to keep a smile on my face. The music and the dramas are just so happymaking, from "Nobuta power, chuunyu!" to listening to Gomen ne Juliet and dancing around a little bit in my seat every day at lunch. Oh, how much I now wish I understood japanese... then all would be complete *_*

• Oh, and: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SASKIA DAHHHLINK. ;)

• ahgujksdag,jfs, one last sad thing: John Edwards? Out of the race. So sad :( my happiness over finally being able to vote has gone down a bit. Sigh.

So I made a random LJ voice post tonight. Funny, as tonight is the worst night EVER to randomly decide to do these things. If you choose to listen, you'll find out why ;)

Follow me to the mp3...

By the way, at the end there, I definitely had issues with making the recording stop. A text message was in the way and it was all weird and stuff....

Speaking of weird, god, I sound so weird. But I love it! I love babbling! Yay babbling! :B NOW STOP BABBLING, AMY, AND READ.

This is my "just letting you know that I'm still around, sort of, somewhere."

Where have I been, anyway? What has Amy been up do?

• Becoming acquainted with Nobuta wo Produce, thanks to Saskia.

• Watching video after video of Yamapi and developing a lovely new obsession.

• Attending the first Urinetown rehearsal, and actually not screwing up horribly.

• Telling myself to finish Crime and Punishment already.

• Mourning over the death of Heath Ledger. :(

I am so not in the mood to write anything interesting or lengthy or fun right now. I kind of just want to blow off my homework and watch 10 Things I Hate About You. I need a serious Heath Ledger-fest right now. :(

1) So I just watched the most cracked-out episode of Ugly Betty ever. Toxic perfume made Betty nutso! But oh my god, you guys, even though I am totally in love with Henry, I am feeling for Gio. He likes Betty so much! Oh man. Oh man. Am I a bad Betty/Henry shipper? Maybe. But ever since Henry and Betty finally got together, it's like Gio is in the show more than Henry is! What the hell! Sigh.

2) I know, I know. I've been lax on my posting lately. What can I say? Pretty much nothing has been going on. I got into two more colleges — Centre and UK — and I've made more progress in Crime and Punishment — which I adore at the moment. I need to get into major revision mode with my novel and I need to write more Wands songs with Michelle (two shows! February and March!). But right now, at this moment, I actually need to be doing Psychology preview questions. Ah well. That can wait a few more minutes.

3) Even though the writers' strike totally and completely sucks, I'm actually kind of happy that all of my shows are ending around this time. Why? Because when Urinetown rehearsals start up, I might not be able to see some of the shows when they come on at their usual time! And I really don't like watching episodes online. I have no problem putting up with the commercials on TV, I swear. I think that there are one or two more Ugly Betty episodes left, and two (I think?) more of Chuck. Oh man. I never ever thought I'd become one of these people — people who actually tune into a TV show every week! — but it kind of makes me happy, knowing I have these shows to look forward to. It's fun! (And I love commenting about Ugly Betty to Saskia over gchat or MSN or whatever client we happen to be using, because she has no idea what I'm talking about.)

4) Speaking of TV shows, I added Chace Crawford (from Gossip Girl) on Myspace so that I could look at his pictures (HE IS TOTAL EYE CANDY, OKAY? OKAY.) and oh my lawd. I could stare at that face all day! Now I'm wishing Gossip Girl was still going... need more Chace... okay, stop Amy, stop!

5) Maybe soon I'll have something interesting to write about. But until then, um. Hey! I know! You guys give me ideas! What should I write/rant/whatever about? :P Because when you leave me to my own ideas, it obviously isn't pretty.

Really, I'm over my angst (funny, we discussed angst a little bit in english today — starting our Existentialism unit — I'm too optimistic to be existential, apparently). Jasmine, Jordyn, Zulay — your comments made me really smile. :) Thank you for putting up with my silly brief sadness. ;) I got home, wrote that up, watched last night's episode of Ugly Betty which my sister graciously taped for me (giving up her room for at least two whole hours! Seeing as her room is the only one with a VCR), showered, got back online briefly, and went to sleep.

In that time online, I read my friends' page on LiveJournal and was really happy to read Vincent's most recent entry. In it, he said, "Not much to say. First Urinetown meeting today. I'm very excited that Amy is in it because normally I don't have anyone to talk with really. But it's really nice to have a friend-friend there now for once." Ahh. He's most of the reason why I tried out for Urinetown, see, he kind of pushed me towards it the most. Actually, I was really worried that since he already has a bunch of theatre-friends, I'd be stuck to fend for myself when the musical started up, but then he came and sat next to me in the giant circle and we giggled together and such and it was enjoyable, really. I don't really know why I came home all bitter — something in the car just set me off and a few other things from throughout the day, throughout the week, came back to me and I was overwhelmed with heavy frustration.

(He also had this video in his entry, too. Okay, so it's totally nerdy, but how amazing is it?!)

Today started off a little grumpy, too, I'll admit, but it ended really, really well. First Literary Magazine meeting of the semester with our new sponsor and it was amazing. Mr. Reynolds stood up and just asked us questions about the magazine, our goals, etc. He actually has a lot of experience putting together these sorts of things, so I think we're so lucky to have him as our sponsor. (Not that I didn't like Ms. McGrew! Really! I'm just saying, really good meeting today!) I'm really excited for Lit Mag this semester. My senior year, my last year, and can you blame me for wanting it to be amazing?

I can't stop listening to the Juno soundtrack and just remembered that I need to tell my dad my plans for this weekend so I'd better go and inform him before I wake up and randomly find he's got other stuff to do in the morning.

You know those people that everybody loves? The ones who, whenever they open their mouths or simply walk into a room — hell, even poke their head around the corner — everybody bursts out into laughter and cheer and happiness galore?

I'm not one of those people. I don't think I've ever been one of those people. Usually, actually, when I open my mouth in front of people, they give me funny looks. Eyes that say, "What is she talking about?" "Is she trying to be funny?" and "What a loser...."

It's kind of sad. I mean, it takes a lot for me to say things in front of a group of people, big or small. Confidence and crap like that? I'm a little big lacking in that stuff. And it doesn't help that I'm genuinely afraid of what my peers think of me — I may be an optimist, but I'm crazy self-conscious. It's stupid, too, because these people I've gone to school with for three and a half to six and a half years. We should be used to each other by now.

I don't necessarily want to be one of those people. The ones that everybody adores. I'm sure they've got a lot of pressure to be perfectly marvelous and all. But, I mean. Like I said, it takes a lot for me to talk to various groups of people. And when they give me nothing, or when they give me awkward looks, it makes it even more difficult the next time around. It's just... I mean, I can be funny, right? I can be a fun person? Maybe not. Do people ever want to chat with me out of the blue?

I love those people, too. Just like everybody else. They bring smiles, laughs, all that cheery goodness. But sometimes I wish I could have that effect on people. I mean, I got sick of being negative and mean. I started laughing when other people made jokes. I started smiling when they spoke. I started complimenting them. I decided that it was just too hard to dislike others all the time. But I guess everybody else doesn't really agree.

So yes, today I spent basically the entire day at Third Street Stuff, the local quirky coffee shop, with Saskia. We did homework, read, etc. I finished The Town And The City — by Jack Kerouac, which kind of disappointed me as I expected this epic wonderful thing and instead, about a third of the way through it began to annoy me incredibly, and though I enjoyed the first third and was okay with the ending, it was very difficult to make myself finish it — and wrote a little bit and attempted some of my chemistry homework. (I wish Chemistry was still as easy as it had been sophomore year. Yes, that was what we call "baby Chemistry." AP Chem? Way over my head. Oops. But I pulled off a B this past semester! Much to my happiness.) Before I dive into Crime & Punishment (running out of time here!), I'm going to read Devilish by Maureen Johnson, which Saskia lent to me and which I should be able to knock out in a day. Maureen Johnson is so cool, haha.

Since I heard back from two schools over winter break — Transylvania University and Wittenberg University — about my acceptance, I have been going nuts over letters from more schools. Especially Juniata at the moment, as I also really want the arts scholarship I applied for — I sent them a crapload of stuff for my portfolio: two Literatures CDs, the past three years' copies of my school's literary magazine, an excerpt from my novel, two other poems, one other short story, a copy of RED, and the recommendation that Amy G wrote for me). Yeah, I sent them a lot, so they better give me the full ride, haha. I also went out to UPS on the third and the portfolio had to be postmarked for the fourth, so I really cut it close there. I'll know if I'm being considered for the scholarship if I'm invited up for an interview on February 25th (please please please!) (but why a Monday? Hello, seniors kind of have school). God, I want that scholarship. How amazing would it be to get a full ride? So amazing.

Speaking of grades (well, up there in that first paragraph), report cards came in the mail today. Four As, one B and a C. God, that C is so stupid. Calculus. Hate math. I'm just not very good at it — although I do try, I swear I do. It just... the material just doesn't stay in my head, you know? But the C balanced out with the abundance of As! (The GPA stays good so long as I have two As to balance out one C. If my calculations are correct, that should be a 3.5 for the semester? Although I'm most likely wrong — my C was in Calculus.) I'm pretty proud of this past semester, actually. The math grade isn't very good, no, but overall it might actually be my best semester, as it's the most As I've gotten within one semester before. Should actually be good for my GPA! And it's especially good that my first semester of senior year is my best, showing that I have improved over the years — I screwed up majorly my second semester freshman year. So though I would have liked for that C to be a B, well, I'm still pretty happy with my grades. I mean, it's too late to do anything about them, so why freak out? Just gotta focus on this next semester, this next summer, and finally college next fall.

Plus, Mr. Liimatta, my English teacher, left the best comment I've ever received on a report card: "Harry and the Potters rock." No one else has ever had a cooler report card. No one.

Hope you all don't mind two posts in one day. ;) I actually just wanted to blog to let everyone know about the comment Mr. Liimatta left. So happy-making!

First of all, Amy G, I really like how you're asking us these questions! They give me something real to write about! Because let's face it: how tired were all of you of my mopey Spring Awakening posts? And though I love me some picture posts, I just don't do enough exciting things to blog with pictures every day.

But moving on. You asked if the internet advantages girls. I find it particularly interesting that you ask this, as the whole boys vs. girls thing seems to be coming up a lot lately, everywhere I go: here on the RED site, in psychology class, and especially at Lexington GSA meetings. Every week there, it seems we talk at least a little about why it's "okay" for girls to do this and not that, why male stereotypes are more set-in-stone than those of females, etc. We always boil it down to that women have always been thought of as inferior, very emotional, while males are the superior sex, the hunters and fighters. And though over the years, the female stereotypes have been broken time and time again, the male stereotypes are still very ingrained into society. It's okay for a woman to want to move up on the scales, to want to be a leader and a fighter, but for a man to want to lower himself to a woman's status, to be emotional and a follower? That's disgraceful, as if they're resenting society and the superiority practically handed to them on a golden platter.

Connecting it to the internet, which is based on words and writing, it makes sense that it would advantage girls because, well, writing is really a very personal thing. It's really for expressing everything you're feeling at one moment, be it through memoirs or fictional characters. An incredibly emotional form, when you think about it. And the internet takes the personal expression scale and pushes it to its limit. Myspace, Facebook, LiveJournal: all of these sites are about letting people find you, see you, read you, and you want to let them know that you are strong and fierce and wonderful, but then at the same time you feel the need to post those bulletins and notes and entries that come about when you're feeling down, hinting at their inner turmoil over loves and family and friendships. Maybe it's about proving that you're a human being, capable of feeling and loving and reaching out to those who also can and want to feel and love.

And to be honest, I see most of these bulletins and notes and entries are posted by girls. Because they're expressing themselves, letting their emotions run wild for the entire internet community to see. A guy posts and he 's probably seen as weak, picked on by his friends for letting a girl or a parent or another guy get to them. So girls develop more of a handle on the written word and learn how to use it to their full advantage. They write and learn how to use writing and the internet to show a million different sides of one person. Whereas guys, it's like they can't have different sides. They can't show that they have sides that can hurt and feel. They have to be strong, can't show weakness.

Now, don't get me wrong, boys can be just as fantastic as writing as girls, obviously. I mean, go look at the shelves at a bookstore, haha. The two writers I consider the most influential when it comes to my own style were both men. A lot of the guys I know are excellent, excellent writers. And like Jocelyn said, too, I'm super-disorganized, which is supposed to be typical of guys. Stereotypes exist, but are breakable — in reality, there is not "perfect girl" and "perfect guy." We're all meshed and mixed up. In my psychology class a few months back, we read an article about girls and boys, differences and similarities, that everybody has qualities that are stereotypically female or male. There's truly no one way of looking at the boys vs. girls argument. The article discussed differences in playing, schooling, etc. Differences exist, sure, there are general trends, but there are always exceptions, always people who will break the mold of what is normal and average. And now, even though you asked, Amy, even though it's a discussion that's been around for a long time and one I could totally address right now, even though I could get into the whole schooling issue myself, I... kind of don't feel like it right anymore. Huh. Haha. I was going to, ready to, had even typed up a huge paragraph on it, but upon rereading it, I realized that it was so jumbled and messy and everywhere and I'm not even entirely sure what I want to say about the topic. So I'll lamely stop this post short right about now. Maybe another time I'll think more about if school is more geared for girls or guys (personally, I don't think so, not overall). But right now I'll stop and sit back and relax in this here coffee shop that Saskia and I are sitting in this afternoon. I'll go fetch myself a drink and read a little bit. Yeah. That sounds supernice.

(Oh! Actually, one last thing: yesterday, I finally got to see Juno. Oh man. Love. Everyone should go see it. :) Aha. Michael Cera is kind of my favorite ever.)

At the beginning of last semester, I adopted a motto: "Suck it up and DEAL!" Vincent and I seem to like this a lot. But it's true: get over the drama and the hate and the negativity. Just live, roll with the punches, accept life as it is. Funny how this motto has actually followed me throughout this school year. Beginning of second semester and it still fits.

This morning in English, we had a substitute who was left with an activity to do with the class. First we had to list ten people who have influenced us in some way (getting to ten was tough — but of course, once I wrote down the tenth name I thought of five more), and then a few people who might have listed ourselves as influential to them. Then we looked at some random overheads, read some quotes, and now have an assignment to write out three short term goals and three long term goals. Basic inspirational/motivational stuff. I dunno about you, but I personally hate writing my goals out. Goals are good to have, but I don't like it when they become absolute, and that's sort of what writing them out does. I like flexible goals, because it leaves room for growth. Plus, if I don't achieve it, then it doesn't bother me quite as much. (The goal to see Spring Awakening in November? Totally failed! Totally shut me down!) Absolute goals aren't really bad, no, but sometimes you shouldn't have to push yourself to achieve something.

But that's not what I was going to get at, goals and all. No, actually, I was going to get at one of the quotes. One that I've heard a million times, yes, but this morning it struck me more so than it ever has before.

You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?" - George Bernard Shaw

You see, after I hit "publish" on yesterday's blog and turned off my lights, put my head on my pillow and tried to drift off to sleep, my mind kept turning over so many things that I could have said or still want to say. Not necessarily political, but still related to what I wrote about.

It all ties back into wanting to be in a world in which I am safe. In a country that compromises instead of fights. I'm kind of an idealist, see? I believe in a better world, a good life, happiness. I mean, how am I supposed to be happy when I grow up if I don't try to see the happy in every situation? And, okay, not every situation has happy, but many do. See, that's what I want to be when I grow up: happy. Happy with whatever life throws at me. Happy in the long run, the short run, the sprint and the jog. Even the power walk. (Okay, stopping now.)

Sure, I used to be this crazy pessimistic kid, cynical and "blah blah the world is out to get me and you and us blah blah." I didn't want to understand optimism and idealism. But that negativity gets so old. Boring and dull! One day, I realized, "You know what? I kind of like smiling. And another thing? I have faith in the human race." Because I do -— I like to believe that people are inherently good. It's not how they are born, but how they are raised. You have to show them that goodness and kindness exist, that corruption can be fought, that it has to be fought (but not with its own weapons). One day, I got tired of walking around wearing a frown acting like life sucks. I may be negative at times today, but I try my hardest to "turn that frown upside down" (I couldn't pass that one up). Because guess what, folks? Life doesn't suck. Life is beautiful — if you make it so. Yes, it takes work. But everything in life takes work. Everything worth doing, having, living for — it all takes work. And I'm willing to work for my happiness. It's worth it.

A lot of people will call me naïve. But it's not naïveté. I understand that horrible things happen, cruel people exist, wars are fought and people suffer. That doesn't mean there can't be peace, can't be joy. Perhaps not every moment can be filled with love, but not every moment has to be filled with hate, either. I don't want to look at somebody and fear them. I want to look at them and smile, maybe even have them smile back. World Peace may never be reached, nobody may ever find a cure for cancer, and poverty may never be erased. But we can still smile and laugh through hard times. Smiles and laughter — they make the hard times a little more bearable. Who wants to be cynical and depressed all the time? It just makes life suck, for lack of a better word.

So maybe it's because of all this dwelling that I did last night and today on my idealism, on happiness, on life in general. Maybe it's simply because I had more to say that I didn't cover in yesterday's post. But something about that quote caught a chord in me and made my mind perk up, made the jumbling thoughts in my head start to gather. Something about it made me smile. I'd be lying if I told you that everything is coming together. But right now, it certainly feels like everything in my life is connecting — and it's a good feeling. A really good feeling.

So here's my advice to if silly high school drama is getting you down, if the world is depressing you, if you just can't seem to make that guy like you, whatever: suck it up and deal! It sounds harsh, yes. But once you say it out loud (it works best to yell it in a deep, action movie voice), you'll crack up laughing. Because it makes sense. You don't have to dwell on the negatives all the time. Just suck it up and deal, and look over your shoulder. There's a bright side somewhere. Near or far, just keep looking. It'll be there, I promise.

So I am admittedly not the most political of all of my friends. I know what I believe. I know that I'm for gay marriage and against the war in Iraq. I'm pretty much a liberal, though a rather quiet one. I also have no real problems with people holding different beliefs. I mean, sure, I want for the country to run with my ideas in mind, but I understand that people have different views and opinions, because we all have different backgrounds, different faiths, different ideas. Until somebody spits at me because of what I believe, or at least severely pisses me off with their "holier than thou" attitude (I can think of one person in mind, sure), I have no reason to dislike somebody just because they hold one set of beliefs and I another. If we can't run the country based on my beliefs, then we can at least create compromises.

But moving on. I also know who I'm going to vote for (I can vote this year! I can vote this year!) come primaries, even though it took me awhile to finally make up my mind. Yes, my mind tends to boggle when I overwhelm it with news and views from every single candidate. There are just so many of them right now.

I did do some of my homework. I did fish around, check out stories about the candidates, read different websites concerning their views, watch videos on YouTube. I know that there will not be a candidate who agrees with me on every single thing — I don't expect it, so I look for a candidate who believes in most of the things I believe. In fact, if such a candidate even existed — one who held every single one of my views — who knows if I'd even really like the candidate who did agree with me on every single little thing. Because even if I like the words they speak, the views they hold, to me it's also about attitude. The president should be somebody that I want to listen to, somebody whose attitude and personality I like.

For awhile, I was an Obama girl, until I realized that I was kind of just jumping on the Obama bandwagon. Sure he's popular, sure he holds a lot of the same views that I hold. But the more I though it over, the more I realize that something about Obama just didn't click with me. And it's that click-factor that I need. The click tells me so many things: clothes to buy, topics to write about, colleges to apply to, books to read. Be it a little or small decision, I need the click-factor, or else I feel lost, unsure, skeptical. So I began looking around again, actually doing my homework instead of copying off of others. (Although I do admit that I mostly researched the candidates who had better chances of winning the primaries — yes, some of the smaller candidates I might agree with more, might even like more, but I also have to keep in mind who I could be voting for come November.)

I'm excited to say that I will be voting for John Edwards in May. Yeah! John Edwards! Now true, by the time May rolls around, my vote won't really mean that much when it comes to the big picture, as the country will know pretty much who the Democratic candidate will be — Kentucky's say isn't really that huge when it comes to the primaries, ours being so late and all. But it still excites me that I get to take part in the whole voting process! It amuses me how I haven't even bothered getting my drivers' license yet, the usual "rite of passage" for a teenager, yet I'm so so so stoked to vote. Ah. I love it.

Now why John Edwards? No, he may not be in line with every single one of my opinions (for instance, he's not for same-sex marriage — although he's for civil unions), but I agree with him on most things. To be perfectly honest? I love hearing him speak. I love how passionate he gets when speaking about poverty, working-class America. When he did the forum with Myspace on MTV, I was genuinely excited when he explained his "College for Everyone" idea (and honestly, how amazing is that idea?). I get that click-factor with John Edwards. I didn't know that a candidate could excite me, could make me even more eager to vote. He truly seems to understand the majority of the people in this country, and he doesn't talk down to them, either. He tells us how it is, and every single word gets into my skin and makes me want more. This is what a candidate should do. This is what the president should do. A candidate, and the president, should make me believe in the government, in my country.

To stray from candidates and into voting and such in general: One thing that I think is wrong with America is that people don't believe that their vote counts, or that candidates care about them. A string of bad things happen, and they lose faith in the country, they bad-mouth it and criticize everything. Well, I wish they would stop criticizing and start fighting for what they want to happen. You can't sit back and complain. You have to stand up and complain. Yell and complain. Write and complain. Vote and complain. Get the attention of people who have power. Once you do that, once you make others listen, then you realize that you, too, can have power. And if you don't like the people in power, then you vote against them, or hell, even run against them yourself. If you're going to complain, sing those complaints loud and proud. How else are people going to listen to you?

And I think that people need to realize that sure, there will most likely not be a candidate who is in line with everything they believe in, and sure, many people in this country have many different opinions. But instead of fighting against those who disagree with you, why not band together and create a country that works for and not against itself? This is what I believe in above all else. I want to live in a place where I can sit in a room full of people with different ideas, and not feel like anyone could be attacked. I want to feel safe.

Oh. And because Amy G mentioned it: Oprah+Obama. I've discussed this with my counselor before. But does Oprah scare the crap out of anybody? I raise my hand high. Something about her just irks me. Haha. Just had to get that out there.

Okay. I should really get to bed now. I got a little carried away with writing this! Who knew I had so much I wanted to say?

And maybe I'll post again about all or more of this. Maybe I won't. But I kind of feel good knowing that this — my opinion — is out there for all the world to read.

Amy: you know what i've just realized?
Amy: THIS IS THE BEST START TO A NEW YEAR EVER
Amy: LIKE
Amy: EVER
Amy: IN MY LIFE
Saskia: HAHAHHA

For once in a very long time (or maybe ever), I feel good about the school board's decision on snow days.

For the first time ever, I think — at least since I've been in school — they have called a snow day for the first day back from winter break.

That's right! Snow! Snow day! No school tomorrow!

Saskia IM'd me with "SNOW DAY TOMORROW" and I checked the site — the silly stop sign saying "no school tomorrow" (or whatever it actually says, I don't feel like checking again), it's up! — so I run downstairs to where my dad is on the couch watching TV. I tell him, "I don't think I have school tomorrow!" He changes the channels around to find one that has the closings scroll bar starting over — and, I think for the first time in my life, I actually witness our county's name scroll across the bottom of the screen. It was beautiful! When I see it, I whoop and shout and run to my room flailing my arms and shouting, "NO SCHOOL! I HAVE NO SCHOOL TOMORROW!" while my dad laughs at me.

Oh man. I'm so freaking STOKED. Ahahaha. This is beautiful. Life is beautiful. Snow! is beautiful.

Plans for tomorrow: